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Funny Animal Quotes

Enjoy some humorous quotes about animals. Click the names to learn more about who said it!

Some zany animals to brighten your day.

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?
-John Cleese

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
-A. Whitney Brown

To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you . . . They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.
-Bill Bryson

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
-Ellen DeGeneres

The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch.
-Michael Friedman

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians.
-Henrik Ibsen

You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.
-Jim Samuels


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