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Funny Animal Quotes

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Enjoy some humorous quotes about animals. Click the names to learn more about who said it!

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If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?
-John Cleese

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
-A. Whitney Brown

To my mind, the only possible pet is a cow. Cows love you . . . They will listen to your problems and never ask a thing in return. They will be your friends forever. And when you get tired of them, you can kill and eat them. Perfect.
-Bill Bryson

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
-Ellen DeGeneres

The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch.
-Michael Friedman

It is inexcusable for scientists to torture animals; let them make their experiments on journalists and politicians.
-Henrik Ibsen

You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.
-Jim Samuels

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