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Frienemies

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With the increased popularity of social media over the years a new level of friendship has surfaced. Pre-internet days your circle could be classified in two different ways. Friend=someone you could call if you need to be bailed out of jail. Associate=person whom you have met on several occasions but do not speak to on a regular basis. Social media has turned six degrees of separation into two. We feel like we know one another so much more quickly through picture sharing and posts. They are literally mutual friends. Many times these people annoy the hell out of us. They are kept around to avoid confrontation. Having to explain to this idiot why you deleted them or quit following them is just simply awkward. 95% of the responses would be denial. "I didn't delete you. It must of been a glitch in the system." The honest response would be, "We are not friends and every one of your posts warrants an eye roll." The other would be, "Your pathetic life makes me feel a little better about mine and gives us something to gossip about."

Here lies the big differentiator between the friendships men and women have. Men bond with a group in elementary, junior high or college. They feel no need to broaden their circle. They might hang out socially with another group of couples their wife has put together. This is done out of pressure not voluntarily. They would rather be at home playing Call of Duty. Fellas are well aware of the flaws of their friends and accept them for who they are. This is the true concept of ride or die. Hours are spent talking about sports and professional players. Maybe an occasional "What would I buy if I won the lottery?" They are not the least bit concerned if one of them are going through relationship drama unless it affects them. When they hear about a break up the first question is, "You still gonna be at the fantasy football draft, right?"

Women, on the other hand, might stay in touch with a few high school friends. She gathers a few more in college. Picks up a few at her job. Meets some at church. Don't forget about neighbors. Now these might turn into lifelong friendships but most likely sizzle out over time. Vacancies need to be filled. Women fall out with each other more often than Kim Kardashian gets married. If your friend's husband hits on you it is best to keep quiet or expect another vacancy to open up. She either will not believe you or will find a way to justify his behavior. I.e. you dress too provocatively or flirted with him. "You had a pool party! Was I suppose to show up in a parka?"

Get a group of women together and whichever one did not show up will be the topic of conversation. Women talk about men and about other women. Do we have no other interests? Growing up you think adult conversation will consist of political views and world news. We are far less concerned with the topic of healthcare than we are about a friend finding out her husband left her for the nanny. It has been this way since the beginning of time. This is why you weren't allowed to stay around and listen to grown folks conversation as a child. Your mom was at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee talking about all the neighbors with her girlfriend.

Men have their shortcomings as we all know but we could take a lesson about loyalty from them. Friendships are not disposable. You can't just put them on the backburner because you have a new boo and then expect to pick up where you left off. A true friend is one that holds your hair when you are puking your guts out after getting white girl wasted over a breakup. She then keeps this information to herself. She is the one who agrees to be your maid of honor even when she feels like it is a horrible idea to get married. She doesn't throw it up in your face when things falls apart. She throws you a divorce party.

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. ~Oprah Winfrey

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