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Friend or "friend"

Being kooky with a friend is awesome-let loose!
Being kooky with a friend is awesome-let loose!
photojojo.com

Can members of the opposite sex, really and truly, just be friends? Yes.

Can they just be friends without a thought of something else, ever, from either one of them? No.

Men and women are genetically programmed to find a mate. When you see someone for the first time, you almost always give them an evaluation of how attractive they are and if you could see yourself with them-whether you realize it or not. It's just the way that we're made. A girl can tell you that she's never dating again and that she's 'through with men'; but if a good looking guy starts talking to her she's not going to walk away. There's always the chance that something, at some time, could work out.

There are many girls out there who think that they are great friends with a guy, and that he would do anything for them. This is probably true, but in more cases than not, that great guy is waiting around for the girl to realize how great is is at what he does now, and therefore how much better he'd be at loving her than all of the guys he's watching give it a try. The same is true in reverse, guys are usually just more willing to wait around to see what could happen in the future.

It is very possible to be really good and platonic friends with someone, even if they are attractive and have some of the qualities that you are looking for. None of the items on your 'perfect man' list have any effect if you don't feel your heart leap when he walks into the room. Someone might be perfect for you on paper and leave you completely cold in real life. If you can realize this soon enough and move past it, you can be just friends with any guy--even the seemingly perfect person!

Using this logic, you can be friends with anyone that you want to be. If this is really all that you want and you are confident that it is all that you will ever want with that certain person, take the time to tell them. Gently. Give it a little time, and then be great friends. However, you have to be ready to deal with the fact that he might not want to be friends with you. He might want to date you, and once there is no possibility of that, he doesn't want to be around you. Be prepared for his, and let him make that choice. If you both decide to let things lie where they may and be friends, then you've made it!

 Friends of the opposite sex are some of the best that you can have-who else is better to help with relationship troubles? If you're a woman-he can help you understand why the man in your life does the things he does, and vice versa. In many cases, having these friendships can make your relationship stronger! Opposite sex friendships are healthy and will make you happier, plus give you access to meeting their friends-bonus!

Bottom line, if you are in a 'totally platonic' relationship with someone that you have never and would never consider being more than a friend to-the two of you are not on the same page.  Yes, men and women can be just friends, but all that other junk has to be put out in the open, discussed, and moved past first.

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