Four things we've learned from Brandi Glanville’s 2013 Oscar dress

Winning the award for most inappropriate ensemble of the evening for the 85th Academy Awards is Brandi Glanville, ex-wife of actor Eddie Cibrian. The Real Housewife took to the red carpet in a daring nude-colored dress she designed herself. The frock’s plunging neckline barely contained her breasts and looked as if it would fall down at any moment. We learned more about Glanville’s anatomy than we cared to. But there are other things her dressed revealed to the world…

She’s still competing with LeAnn Rimes.

When a 20-something steals your husband and then floods the Internet with half-naked photos and lovey-dovey “candid” shots with your ex, there’s only so much you can take. Brandi has made no secret of her disdain for country crooner LeAnn Rimes, who had an affair with—and subsequently married Cibrian. Showing up on the red carpet with her assets on full display may seem a little obvious (or perhaps, a lot obvious). But the revealing frock appeared to give her much satisfaction.

She was afraid no one would notice her.

Glanville’s mere presence at the Oscars took many by surprise. But the reality star was actually there on official business, working as a fashion correspondent. In any event, what’s a woman to do when she’s literally drowning in A-List fabulousness? Turn her cleavage into a veritable neon sign of course.

She wants to guarantee her RHOBH paycheck.

Brandi may not like her “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” co-stars. But she does like the money they’re making. Claiming to make only $18K per episode, she believes that she deserves just as much as the other ladies. “I want what they’re getting because I think I work hard,” the reality star maintains. There are many things a woman can do to stretch her 15 minutes of fame. Showing a little flesh just happens to be one of those things.

She wanted to upstage Anne Hathaway’s nipples.

Glanville couldn’t have known that the real stars at the 85th Academy Awards would be Best Supporting Actress Anne Hathaway’s nipples. But since Hathaway is often the victim of the errant wardrobe malfunction, it’s always best to take precautions. Brandi’s runaway cleavage was ultimately more jaw-dropping than Anne’s high beams.