Love at first sight does exist from time-to-time but not often. Everyone wants this fairly tale romance, however many are blindsided by lust or infatuation and confusing it with love at first sight. Creating real closeness with someone takes time. Initial physical attraction draws people together, but it will not lead to something more without putting in time and work. Here are four ways to getting to know someone without moving too fast.
Keep it real.
Living in a fantasy is good, but it can set one up for failure. Do not bring baggage on a new trip. Do not fail to take an honest look at a person. Do not see what "you" want to see; see what "you" need to see. If someone seems too good to be true, he or she usually is. Remember real love takes time to grow.
The effort should be mutual.
Make sure things are reciprocal. Each partner should put the same amount of time and effort into a relationship. In other words, there should not be game playing. They are both in it and that is where they want to be. A good sign of a healthy relationship is when both are on the same page.
Actions speak louder than words.
In relationships there are two things: what someone says and what someone does. If the relationship starts online or over the phone, each are banking on words more than actions. The danger is that a person can feel close to someone who simply cannot live up to the image that he or she has of him or her. Spend time in person observing what romantic interest each has. If either do not like the results, "cut your loses."
Set boundaries in the beginning.
The best time to set relationship rules is in the beginning. Successful relationships are usually more rigid first and ease up later on. This is the best way to gain trust and respect. It is always better to back down from a boundary than to build one after a partner crosses one. From the beginning, it is wise to set relationship boundaries then to have built up resentment. Show a new love the boundaries. Do not be afraid to speak up. A person will respect boundary limits.
In relationships, let things progress slowly and naturally. Being in a relationship can be enjoyable but one should be observant, gather information and notice how they feel in the other's presence. Safety is often an illusion. People are unpredictable. But what one can look for is trust. Trust is usually a foundation of any good relationship.