Forgiveness: willing to forgive and forget?

Earlier this year, former Pleasure Ridge Park High School football coach David ajason Stinson was indicted on charges of reckless homicide and wanton endangerment for the death of 15-year-old Max Gilpin. The death of Gilpin brought national attention to the way athletes were being treated in practices in terms of getting water breaks and recognizing  possible heat stroke. Stinson was found not guilty on btoh charges after the jury deliberated for less than two hourse after closing arguments ended. One contributing factor to the decision was that Gilpin was on medication for ADHD and other possible health conditions, which may have affected his body during the day. A couple of players even stated before and during the trial that Gilpin wasn't feeling well the day that he collapsed at practice.

The reaction is mixed on the Stinson verdict when it was announced. Some people were pleased with the verdict, because they believed that Stinson did everything that he could do to help out Gilpin, but Gilpin ended up dead three days after he collapsed on the practice field. Others, however, were disappointed with the verdict, believing that he didn't do enought to prevent Gilpin's death, and that it could have been prevented if water breaks were given more frequently at that practice. In the end, a high schooler is no longer alive, a former coach has no current coaching job, parents are without a son, and the way practices are now held have changed. There were no real winner in this case.

This story remindes me in a way about the story of Jesus when He was confronted by the Pharisees to find a suitable punishment for an adultress. In the Gospel of John, the Pharisees brought a woman caught in the act of adultery to Jesus, wanting to see how Jesus would react and what He would do to "avenge" her sin (during the time of Jesus, when one was caught in the act of adultery, those involved will be stoned to death according to the law of Moses). Instead, Jesus is seen writing something in the dirt with His finger and says a powerful statement in which nobody was expecting to hear. That statement: "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." (John 8:7) With that one statement, the Pharisees that were present that day got convicted and walked away with a defeat under their belts. With the accusers gone, Jesus gave the adulterous woman the one thing that the Pharisees refused to give anyone because they believe that only God could truly do this: forgiveness. Even this woman was shocked to hear that she wouldn't receive condemnation from Jesus.

Just as forgiveness was tough for the Pharisees to truly grasp, that they were the ones who can forgive people as well, forgiveness is a tough virtue for someone today to grasp. We're more likely to hold the bitterness that we receive when someone has done something against you or hurt you. We're more likely to "forgive but never forget" than to "forgive and forget." We're suppose to forgive and forget, but sometimes we reather keep the things that hurt us in the back of our minds and use them when it comes time to the person who has done that wrong to us to ask for forgiveness for something else.

If we want to be truly forgiving, we have to be willing to forget the things that hurt us the most. Forgiveness is a part of life, yet a virtue that is not being taken seriously lately. Forgiveness today more "forgive but not forget" than to "forgive AND forget." With some people, it will be tough to forgive them because of the way their attitudes are towards others. However, we still need to look within ourselves and be willing to forgive others for the wrongs that they amy have done to us. Without forgiveness, our hearts feel more broken, and our attitudes towards others will become cold and hardened.