Forgiveness is a hard topic for many people to talk about. Most people don’t know what forgiveness is, what stops them from forgiving and how to forgive.
Well forgiveness is a process, it takes time to forgive, and you have to truly want to forgive in your mind and in your heart, just because you tell someone you forgive them does not mean that you truly do. If you still feel hurt, anger or sadness when thinking of that person, and what they did to you, then you have truly not forgiven them.
Marianne Williamson explained forgiveness very well when she stated that “Forgiveness is the key to inner peace because it is the mental technique by which our thoughts are transformed from fear to love”
So when we forgive someone for the wrong they have done to us, we start to heal and we find peace in return.
We all have a lot of answers or excuses as to why we cannot forgive someone but if we truly look they all lead back to egos. That is correct in a lot of situations our egos stop us from truly forgiving someone. Egos are part of us and they can be very dangerous. I am sure we all have seen or known people that have been destroyed by their egos.
Marianne Williamson stated this about ego and how it interferes with forgiveness “The ego is the great fault finder. It seeks out the fault in ourselves and others.” “The ego is restless, it is capable of suspiciousness at best and viciousness at worst. It presents the subtle and insidious arguments for casting other people out of our hearts”.
So here are five steps that can help you on the path of forgiving someone:
- Acknowledge the Hurt
- Identify Your Emotions
- Cancel the Debt
- Set Boundaries
- Make a commitment to forgive
The two things that you need to remember is that unforgivness hurts you more than the person that has hurt you and if you truly want to let go then you must forgive.