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Forget the check list, love is enough


Can it just be about following our hearts and being authentic?

I just got home from having a drink, seeing a girlfriend, and I sat down to read my newest emails, one of which was an entire post about how to please men… about 9 which felt like 900 bulletin points later was a whole list of all the things to do, and not do to please or offend men…. My eyes started spinning in my head, my heart rate fastens, my breath quickened…. If this is how you have to go about it I’m going to be single forever I laughing say to myself as I swallow down the lump that has now formed in my throat… what to do / say/ don’t say on the first date… omg I think… I’m the girl that says the most random things like… so my sister tells me you’re the funniest person on earth …like 2 minutes into meeting someone, like hey! No pressure to perform right? Ugh’ …looking and acting cool are just not my “thing” I tell you… I’ve always felt that God(love) has some balancing scale right because sometimes I just get it right, and I’m all like Johnny B cool…. Sauntering into the bar, doing a little cat walk, and then wham I slip on a spot of water and go sliding into someone….. pretty much every time… I just accept that the universe never really wants me to look to awesome, that it keeps me humble. So, if THAT is what is going to get that guy to “make me the center of his universe” …at least according to this article, then love for me is hopeless…. Might as well toss in the towel now and grab that carton of chocolate PB Ice cream I think as I Criss cross my yoga panted legs… is there hope, for the hopeful romantic?

Do you, too, believe in a world where we just fall in love? For our quirks as much for our awesome… do you believe that there is somewhere who will just love you…. Through thick, and thin, high and low… the brave ones… and anyone who’s truly made it in a relationship know that it takes a lot of work to make it work with someone … there are so many factors, some being timing, etc. etc. etc. yada yada yada … but then it all goes back to love…

Great love they say requires great “effort” … but I’d just like to believe that great love requires great love.

I say don't prove…anything… don’t chase or convince…anyone. It makes me tired to think about it…as I laugh, approaching my 30’s, still single…but happy anyway, most days, and with so many things to be grateful for…I guess I should be trying harder for love, not less… but I’m letting go, and I’m accepting … that it all is what it all is… and I am opening my heart, and letting love in… knowing that it is me so it’s like a telescope up to the stars swirling and moving and endless…. I’m authentic, I say what I feel, and what I think. I LOVE to dose love down on love… that’s one of my favorite things about loving certain people, or a certain one… how much love they can handle, how they relish in it like sweet kids at a party eating cake…smiling as the streamers run and the candles melt – HAPPY BIRTHDAY! They yell with glee… no thoughts beyond that moment and how great it feels to be them. I love those who love, fully, fiercely, who let love in.

I send more love to those who are still working on it. Because that’s what you need… not less of it, not to be judged… Love. Just a little more love… So that’s what I believe in, and I know that someday, that story is going to catch up… that an equal weird and excellent person is going to roll into town and claim this woman … and we are going to laugh and enjoy, and trip, and make fools of ourselves together, for the rest of our lives… because that’s what I see for myself. A life where family matters, love rules, and we work it out and we do the time because that is love and action, and we know that we are worth it. So a cheers!

To Love! To forgetting the check list, to being yourself! And to the right one just loving ya, to love. Xo

By Ashley Davene

Listen to Ashley Host Art of Love Radio Sundays 2pm PT / 5pm ET –

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