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Ford takes off with HyperFlight

is this the car of the future? Ford certainly thinks so. Maybe.
is this the car of the future? Ford certainly thinks so. Maybe.
Photo by Trevor Garner

If Doc Brown from Back to the Future had his way, we’d all be living in a society of self-tying shoes, hover boards and flying cars.

At least the last part is right.

The latest Ford Fusion — called HyperFlight — hit the market Tuesday, with several improvements and one massively impressive new feature: the ability to take flight at a moment’s notice.

“Ford has created the car of the future, made for the family in the present,” Ford vice president of superstition Dari Cocoa said in a statement. “No longer will families be constrained by superficial forces like ‘traffic’ or ‘gravity.’ By implementing our new technology, the future is now.”

Unlike Brown’s “hover conversion,” which took a common technology for new-age skateboarders and youth and placed it inside the car’s engine, the Ford Fusion borrows from the modern-day helicopter. A rotor attached to the roof of the Fusion will spin immediately upon activation of the in-car flight system, conveniently located on the car’s dashboard. Once it has built up sufficient momentum, the car will naturally maneuver away from the earth’s surface — giving new meaning to the term ‘come away with me’ uttered by most boyfriends on a date.

“This new technology will revolutionize the way we see car travel,” lead researcher Domo Arigato Roboto said. “It is exciting to be a part of the team that created the first-ever flying car for mass production.”

Ford announced several other projects that are nearing completion in the introductory press conference of the Ford Fusion HyperFlight. Among them: an environmentally friendly car that runs on clean burning soap scum; a trash compactor in the bed of the next Ford F-150 that will make hauling loads to the dump quicker and more efficient; and an iPhone app that allows for voice-activated gas pumps.

Ford will release the Fusion HyperFlight to each state on an individual basis. Utah Ford dealers will be the first in the nation to pre-sale the car, based on proximity to test zones in the Utah salt flats and Zion National Park. Pre-sale information is available at Henry Day Ford and other local outlets.

If you’ve made it this far down the article on this exciting new technology, you’re either really dedicated to new automotive technology — or you didn’t realize today’s date. Happy April Fools’ Day, readers.

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