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For the love of god, throw out your mascara!

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(Please note: for the duration of this article, I'd like you to imagine that I'm a crusty old prospector telling you this story as I signal for the barkeep to bring me another dram of whatever he's got in the ol' mason jar.)

You've probably heard that you're supposed to throw mascara away after three months. You've probably heard it, and you've almost definitely ignored it. I know I have, and it was a mistake.

A while back, I found myself pretty attached to this one tube of They're Real, the kind of Benefit wonder-product that makes a girl wanna give up her horse (Full disclosure: I've never been a prospector. Is this how they talk?). Anyway the long and the short of it is, I held on to that damn tube for, gotta be round near six months or so. Then one day, the same day I was to be startin' a brand new, exciting as all get-out job... I woke up with one eyelid swollen shut.

Well I went to that first day of work, trying 's best I could to hide behind my hair, sportin' the spectacles I only use when I'm sick as a horse (like prospectors talk A LOT about horses, right?), hopin' no one would notice that one of my peepers looked like an eggplant on fire.

Next morning I went right on to the infirmary, where a kindly nursin'-type told me this is a common problem among folks who don't throw out their mascara.

Ya see, mascara wands are bacterial breeding grounds, and the longer you continuously use a single wand, the more risk you're taking of getting an infection. It took me a round of topical anti-biotics to cure what ailed me. But you don't want to go through that, and don't nobody want that for you.

I know you love whatever mascara you're most attached to right now. I know, because I've been in your boots before. But your health should never come second to a beauty product. Not no way, not no how.

I guess what I'm trying to say is:

THROW OUT YOUR F**KING MASCARA ALREADY!

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