You've been online dating for a while and for some reason you're not getting great responses when you reach out to women. You know all the basics that were covered in part 1 of this article, but maybe it's time for you to sweat the small stuff. Here are five more tips for getting her attention online:
1. Proofread your profile and email
If you look like David Beckham, most girls will overlook misspellings and bad grammar. Chances are you're more of a regular guy, so you're going to have to put in a little more effort than just taking your shirt off. Make sure to proofread your profile and email for grammatical errors. Use spellcheck before you hit send. Sure, it may seem silly, but most women are looking for smart, intelligent, highly educated men, so make sure you're not taking yourself out of the game by coming across as illiterate. Don't ask her "r u busy tmrw nite?" You're not sending a text message to a high schooler, you're writing to an intelligent woman and you should act and write accordingly.
2. Let her set the pace
She might want to write back and forth for a while before giving you her phone number. She might want to have a few phone conversations before she meets you for a date. Let her set the pace for your relationship. By being patient, you'll increase your chances of getting a date. Sending her messages like "Why won't you meet me after work tomorrow?" or "Why haven't you written me back?" will make you appear pushy and will surely drive her away before you even have a chance to meet in person.
3. Save the sarcasm
If sarcasm is your go-to move as a way to get laughs, wait until you speak over the phone to dazzle her with your witty remarks. Over email and text, sarcasm loses something. She can't hear the inflection in your voice, and your biting comment, while meant to be funny, won't go over well with most women. Stay away from comments like "You must be pretty desperate to try online dating." Even though you meant it to be a joke, you're coming across as a jerk.
4. Don't get too personal
You should start off slowly with revealing things about yourself. Keep the first few emails, conversations and dates light and fun. Don't tell her that you had a rough childhood in your first email to her. Don't tell her that you're having a hard time getting over your divorce. Stick to your hobbies and interests, not the challenges you've had to overcome. Yes, it's true that people become stronger by dealing with adversity, but that's more like third date material. Start off slowly and you'll have more room for the relationship to blossom from there.
5. Don't be desperate
Even though you've been trying this online dating thing for a while with no success, it's important to maintain a positive attitude and not to become too desperate. Don't write to a woman saying "I've been on this site for six months and haven't met anybody good" or "You're the fiftieth person I've written to this month." Approach each woman like it's the first time you've reached out to anybody online. She'll feel more desirable if you don't mention the other women who have ignored your advances, and you'll appear more desirable as well.
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If you have a dating and relationship advice question, please send an email to examineradvice@gmail.com.
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