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Flirting fails (based on true stories)

No Bunny For You

Tony had been flirting with this girl at a high end clothing store for about a month now. He felt it was his time to really pull out the good material and make her want to go out on a date with him. Besides, she had already seen him in his boxers when he needed help picking out a suit, it was time to take it to the next level.

Tony: Hey Clarissa, I need a good robe, what can you do for me?

Clarissa: We just got some good ones in, come with me.

Tony: I will follow you where ever you want me too sweetheart.

Clarissa: What?

Tony: Uh nothing.

Tony kicked himself for using such a cheesy line at this stage in the game but soldiered on.

Clarissa: How does this one feel?

Tony: Pretty good, I think I should put it on for the real affect.
Clarissa: I agree, drop your pants.

Tony: Don't have to tell me twice!

Clarissa helped him into the robe and they stood in the mirror to give the final verdict.

Clarissa: How do you feel?

Tony: Like Hugh Heffner! Now I just need a bunny.

Clarissa: Hahaha yeah.

Tony: So what about it?

Clarissa: What about what?

Tony: Being the bunny to my Heffner?

Clarissa: But you are not Heffner.

Tony: We can pretend, get you some ears and a cute little tail.

Clarissa's eyes got big then narrowed. Tony was trying to laugh it off at this point but it clearly was not working.

Tony: Wouldn't that be fun? Just a little costume party.

Clarissa: Do you want the robe or not?

Tony: Um, I'm sorry, I didn't mean...

Clarissa: Yes or no on the robe Anthony?

Tony: Um yeah, its a nice robe.

Clarissa: I will get it ready for you and Marcel will ring you up. Have a nice day.

Clarissa snatched the robe off of Tony and left the dressing area angrily. Tony had no idea how to come back from that and out of guilt purchased a few more things to give Clarissa a nicer commision. In shame, Tony stayed away from the store for a few months. Unfortunately when he got the guts to go back in, he found out that Clarissa transferred to another store over 2 hours away.

The End

Got any flirting fail stories you are willing to share with me? Email me at I promise I won’t use your name or any other identifying facts about you. Sharing equals healing =)

Ready, Set, Go!!!

Want to see or even create one of your own flirting fails? Why not let Tequila help!

Coyote Cantina (for the record, i do not condone excessive drinking without a designated driver and friend)

531 N Pacific Coast Hwy
# B
Redondo Beach, CA 90277
(310) 376-1066

If you have any specific situations or questions you would like for me to address please feel free to leave me a comment or email. Be sure to hit “subscribe” to get updates on all my articles! Thank you for reading! -Andria