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Flirting at Thirty

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While I am just on the cusp of turning thirty next year, I consider myself in this age bracket now, especially maturity, career and mentality wise. My twenties were a wild ride filled with ups and downs, letdowns and great experiences, but better yet; a sense of exactly what I want and deserve in my life. It’s also the decade that usually marks the pivotal part of one’s journey; you meet your partner in crime, best friend and soul mate and raise a family together. Take trips, celebrate milestones and linger on through this crazy thing called life with that one person who gets you and wants to be a part of your ride. All sounds wonderful, huh? It can be, but dating in your thirties and reaching that blissful, happy and comfortable feeling is tough.

I have always been a relationship type of dude, two serious contenders in my twenties. We met, fell in love and immediately knew we wanted to explore each other and mesh our lives together. One was about a year, the other almost five. Obviously, that method of jumping into a relationship so rapidly didn't work out so well in the long run, but it has opened up so much light into my life and broadened my horizons on what I want from myself and others around me. I love myself completely and what I've accomplished and currently embarking on; something my previous relationship sadly lacked, which was support, belief and communication.

I met someone about three weeks ago & we instantly connected at our first coffee ‘date’ in Denver. Coffee was spilt all over me within the first fifteen minutes of chatting and I was hooked. We had so much in common, talked about family and had intense sexual chemistry. We communicated constantly during the first two days and wanted to know so much about each other. We spent an awesome weekend together and discussed many important things I believe should be nailed down quickly when you’re dating in your thirties. At this point in my life, if you don’t fit the bill, I don’t need to waste my time or yours. After some minor differences and too much too fast last weekend, the relationship took a scale back like 180 degrees style and is now in the confusing category.

How do you guys get involved so quickly with someone and then after two weeks of intense bonding, have to carefully calculate your texts, hanging out sessions and desire to jump on the person you are interested in? Are they dating other people? When can you ask if they are seeing someone else and if you’re just the casual fuck? We all want what we can’t have is bullshit and needs to be re-written by another intellect or whoever the hell wrote that. If you want to get to know someone, don’t advertise your need to take it back a notch, just take it slow naturally and continue getting to know each other. Cuddling, movies, walks around the city and active, outdoor activities are all great things to do. Also, communication is crucial. In this exciting relationship, I have learned thus far to pick up your damn phone and reach out to the person. Texting is very confusing and leads to an argument that never would have happened had you spoken on the telephone first. I now sound like my parents generation, who only had the option to pick up the phone or have emotional conversations in person. It’s hard to decipher those types of conversations in text messages, so anything other than meeting up plans and quick responses should be worked out in person.

This is all so new to me and I must say very exciting, although I have never experienced this thing called ‘dating’ before and it drives me crazy at times. I know taking a step back is the right thing to do and building a friendship is key to a long-lasting and fulfilling relationship. I just hope by spending more time with the person that it doesn't make one fall in love and the other take a hike.

Any tips on the dating game, people? Dating at thirty is challenging!

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