In this modern era of dating wherein woman have embraced the dating patterns of bachelors, a new form has arisen. Friends with benefits aka no strings attached dating has become enormously popular as of late. So much so that two separate movies came out recently. It is a coincidence that Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher both starred in similiar movies and are very much involved with one another. Let's be honest. All of the stars in both these movies are high up in the food chain in the looks department. When a person is that aesthetically pleasing to the eyes they hold the cards in the majority of their relationships. I would assume that anyone that would be involved in a FWB agreement with one of them would be doing so because they secretly wanted more but would be willing to settle for whatever scraps they are thrown. The other funny part is that in both movies the couples fall in love and end up together. Buyer beware.
What are the reasons one would settle for or prefer a no strings attached arrangement over a traditional relationship? Immediately following a bad break up it is advisable to take some time to be alone/single to reflect and regroup. Now the physical needs do not subside. To avoid becoming intimate with one stranger after another and gaining a bad reputation, having a throwback can make this transitional period more manageable. We aren't talking jersey's here. A throwback is someone you dated a while back but just weren't that into. He is most likely cute but just does not possess the qualities you would want in a boyfriend. Think Peter Pan. He is alot of fun but has no plans of growing up. A gamer comes to mind.
Now there are certain guidelines one must follow to avoid catching feelings:
- hanging out is happy hours and sporting events. No dinner dates
- texting is the major form of communication. No good morning or night texts
- do not list your FWB as your emergency contact. They will not show up
- do not celebrate birthdays or any other holidays together
- conversations should remain light and humorous
- no sleeping over or cuddling. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am is acceptable
- no introductions to friends, family and most importantly children
A friends with benefits flirtationship will never be successful with someone who is genuinely interested in you such as a prospect whom you sent to the friend zone. They will treat this time like it is an audition. They will never stay in their lane. The end goal for them is to get promoted to partner. The other thing to keep in mind is discretion. You don't want them changing their Facebook relationship status to "it's complicated." You should not even be friending this person on social media. Keep your lives as simple as possible.
How do you break up with your FWB? Now that is the perfect and easiest part of this arrangement. There is no uncomfortable conversation necessary. Eventually one of you will meet someone and want to date exclusively. You should both agree that whens this happens then the "come through" texts will halt.
"Friends with benefits? More than friends? Don't sample the goodies unless you're willing to risk addiction and withdrawal. - Ann Landers