~ The Mortuary

~ 4800 Canal Street, New Orleans, LA

~ www.themortuary.net - Purchase tickets here

Upon arriving at The Mortuary, you'll notice the wonderful green uplights pointed at the front of the former McMachon Funeral Home which was devastated by Hurricane Katrina. Jeff Borne's purchase and creation into The Mortuary has now frightened fear-lovers and those looking to just enjoy the fruits of his labor. Thus continues the tradition this year as well.

We had purchased our tickets online and got those of the VIP variety paying an extra $10 in order to skip the line completely. This early in the haunted house season though, it didn't appear that was necessary. When we arrived around 8:30 this evening, the line was only about 15-20 minutes long and waiting wouldn't have been that big a deal. One lives and learns though and that VIP pass will come in very handy once we get closer to Halloween.

Our party consisted of nine people and we were then split up into two groups (4 and 5) before going in so if you're going with a lot of people, expect to be separated.

Entering through the front doors of The Mortuary, we were instantly taken into a haunted world that looks fantastic. The former funeral home is decorated incredibly with not a single ounce of wasted space so as to make you believe you are truly in a haunted house and not just a normal place designed to look like one. Right inside the foyer, we were greeted by a "kindly" old witch who then introduced us to our tour guide for the evening who happened to be a freshly dead nurse. It was up the stairs we went from there.

The first room was that of a mad scientist who gave us a quite humorous greeting before conducting one of his newest experiments on our tour guide. Little did we all know that would be the last we'd see of her.

From that moment on we toured the upstairs portion of the house going into a rat-filled room, dark hallways filled with wind-blowing curtains, and even a truly frightening dining room. After being scrared silly on the top floor, we were ordered to proceed downstairs which honestly seemed to go on forever.  I would swear that we descended at least four sets of stairs and kept going further an further downward. There are no basements in New Orleans, but this was an old funeral home and our final stop took us to what must have been the embalming location because you could tell a change in the temperature and smell of the air.

None the less, each floor had its fair share of colorful characters and creative rooms. There was a traditional New Orleans voodoo room complete with a witch doctor that gave us a warning to heed. A few vixens took care of a giant fat mutant that was confined to a bed. Around one corner was a bar which seemed right out of Quentin Tarantino's From Dusk Til Dawn film with a few vampiresses getting right up in our faces.

One of the more enjoyable things was a chainsaw-wielding...drill sergeant. I'll bet you expected me to say "guy in a hockey mask" or something didn't you? But no, it was a seemingly "dead" drill sergeant that actually appeared in a few rooms spread throughout the house and that was awesome having a recurring character throughout.

The Mortuary contained numerous rooms, many different characters, and was able to avoid the "cheese-factor" that many haunted house fall victim to. Never were they attempting to frighten us with stupid tricks or scripted scares, but the focus was jump-scares and it made for a thrilling and heart-pounding walk through one of the greatest haunted houses in all of New Orleans.

Warnings

~ Those thare terrified of the dark may want to take a second thought about going into The Mortuary. While there arne't really many instances of complete darkness; there are a few and most of the palce isn't well lit but that should be expected.

~ Anyone with severe claustrophobia is advised to think twice about entering The Mortuary. Most of the place is decently wide open, but there are three particular moments when you'll be walking through giant inflatable walls that will squeeze you tightly and keep you rather constricted until you make your way through them.

~ If you don't like people touching you in haunted houses then this is not the one for you. A warning on the website advises that if you touch them, they will touch you. They're not going to hurt you but many of the talent does bump into you and get right up on you many times throughout.

~ Don't look to take the kids to this one because they will be scared. I'd hoenstly have to recommend that no-one under the age of 12 going in.

Overall: Four and a half out of five on scare factor

The Mortuary is a must-see haunted house in New Orleans with some great jump-scares, plenty of fantastic atmosphere, a well organized production, and just a fantastic overall experience. Enter if you dare and enjoy all the scares. Now I just can't wait to schedule my ghost-hunting tours to experience all the fun and frights in full.

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