After a month and a half of being back in Hawaii, the kids seemed to be recovering from the chaos and terror of the previous months - the bedwetting and potty accidents had come to an end as well as the night terrors and nightmares. Child 3, who developed Trichotillomania http://www.ehow.com/about_5525050_trichotillomania-children.html after Mom’s initial October 2012 attack, even stopped pulling her hair and little strands of golden locks began to reappear – it looked like they had finally turned the corner – then "inexplicably" they all began to backslide...
Suddenly, the nightmares and night terrors were back in full-force and “the Scary Man” was being brought up in conversations several times a day. Child 2 began having wetting accidents and Child 3 went back to pulling her hair out.
Two nights ago, Mom asked me to “put my listening ears on” – a “code” I taught my kids so they wouldn’t have to ever lie to me. (If they tell me to put on my listening ears, I’m not allowed to freak out and yell and they won’t be punished for what they’ve done wrong; instead we’ll problem-solve it together BUT if they lie to me then get a “2 for 1” punishment – one punishment for what they did wrong and a second for lying to me.) So when Mom said this to me, I knew I had to brace for impact because it was gonna be bad. Mom said it’s taken her awhile to process this (an ENTIRE WEEK!!!) but here it is:
Last week Mom and I needed some space from each other so she loaded the kids up in the car and went on the Kaneohe Marine Corps Base to do some shopping. Upon exiting the car – and in the presence of the kids – a tall, tattooed male approached Mom with a sarcastic smile and shoved her against the car putting his face to hers. He told Mom to stop reporting things and if anyone else gets involved that things are going to get worse. Then he turned to the kids telling them that they would be “an easy kill” at which point Child 2 wet himself.
My husband has consulted with several military people about what’s been happening and all have become particularly disgusted and enraged when he talks about how the kids have been impacted by all this, but Mom’s told me that some military training tells soldiers that children are to be treated no different then adults; that they can be just as lethal a threat. When I scrunched my face up in disbelief, Mom told me that child soldiers in places like Afghanistan and Africa have killed adults (but I really don’t think we’re in the same circumstance as those places and I’m pretty sure that American children who watch “Dora The Explorer” on DVDs, chow down on McDonalds Happy Meals and see themselves as princesses or super-heroes DON'T have the pre-requisite skills to take down – let alone kill – a trained military soldier).
Regardless, I’m still stuck on the what kind of person would think he’s cool by terrifying and traumatizing little children? Is there a locker room or a debriefing area he goes back to where he reports
You shoulda seen it today, man! I made a 3 year-old boy wet his pants, I made a 5 year-old little girl cry – I think she won’t even be able to sleep tonight she was so scared – and I got a 20 month-old to start ripping her hair out in clumps again!
In response to Mom’s disclosure, I asked “Uh, you DO realize that I’ve published another article since then, right?” Mom looked at me quizzingly and said “Right…” I then looked at her quizzingly and asked “You DID just tell me that you were told to STOP reporting by this guy and instructed NOT to get anyone else involved, right?” She responded “Right”.
All I could think of was that scene from “Independence Day” where Will Smith is telling Jeff Goldblum that they need to work on their communication.
Having not been there myself – and if this guy is reading this – for the record, Mom’s not reporting anything, I am, and no one’s told me directly to stop so I’m really not sure what else to do but do my best to help Mom and the kids which means reporting. I also have to say that we have NO CONTROL WHATSOEVER in who else decides to get involved – what can I say? Some good people are learning about this and want to do the right thing; how exactly is that under Mom’s control?
So yesterday, this guy who doesn’t have anything better to do with his time/life, followed Mom, Child 2 and 3 on foot as they walked to an arts and crafts store then on to a coffee shop. Mom was hoping that Child 2 didn’t notice this guy, but he did. Later in the afternoon Child 1 needed to be picked up from Kindergarten so Mom, Child 2 and 3 ventured out once more and were once more followed by the tall, tattooed man. When Child 2 caught sight of the stalker he wet himself again. At his 8:00pm bedtime he was terrified to go to bed, cried inconsolably for no apparent reason and ended up falling asleep on the couch with the lights on well after midnight. Hope this guy is proud of himself.
What I don’t get is how these guys are able to devote so much time to stalking and surveillance for no good reason while Mom can’t get anyone to devote any time towards surveillance or protective custody for VERY GOOD reasons. Welcome to the Twilight Zone that is domestic violence…
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