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Fixing yourself, for someone else

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So you’ve been through a bad breakup, a separation or divorce. In all of the suffering and pain, you were not the cause of the issue, however, you feel as though something was faulty on your end. After careful introspection, and everyone and their mother convincing you of innocence, or more correctly ignorance, the person you were before has disappeared.

Although numerous friends and family members issue reminders of the great person you are, somehow you don’t have the same optimistic view of the dating world anymore. You seriously consider altering who you are, and how you will be in the next relationship. The internal belief is grounded in pessimism from the previous damage done to your heart.
Once the smoke clears, and the dust settles, the reality of who you should be comes into focus. Due to the imperfections, and immorality of someone else, should you decide to rob someone of the beauty and honesty you have to give? No. It’s not fair to short change somebody of the awesome person you really are inside, though you feel like locking up your emotions and heart.

How then do you fix yourself, for someone else?
First, you must realize there is someone out there who will honor and cherish what you have to offer in a relationship. Just because you joined hearts blindly, not receiving the same protection and nurturing of your emotions, fear not, when you least expect it, somebody who can give it back and more is waiting in the wings. Second, it’s important to get back to center.

Remember what makes you the center of attention with friends and family. While it may seem difficult, you will soon feel your old self returning. Finding it easier to laugh, and take things much lighter than before. Take advantage of friends and family who offer to spend time with you, or get you out of the house for a night of fun. This can prove to be very therapeutic, boosting your ego, sparking the urge to take back the spotlight you have ignored.

Get out and buy yourself some new clothes, shoes and perfume or cologne.
You’d be surprised how much of an impact these simple acts can have on your demeanor and mental state. In addition, taking a step out of your normal attire can make your state of mind elevate, parading your new colors or fashion while walking in public. The confidence which had eluded you will start returning, and more than likely be stronger than before. Never underestimate the power of feeling good about wearing a new style, or wardrobe.

Once your confidence and self worth have returned, so will your desire to return to the dating world, looking for someone to be worthy of what you have to offer. The benefit of passing through a dysfunctional relationship is the caution you will employ before divulging your heart to someone. The notion of finding “the one” will soon return, while your newly energized self esteem will guide you the rest way.

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