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Fixing relationship boo-boo's


Have you ever wondered why, when relationships turn bad, that women are always the ones to try and mend them--No matter what the cost or what must be sacrificed--whether it's your ideals, or even, identity?! Why do women always think they can fix things?


Maybe you could strike it up to the maternal instinct of loving and giving unconditionally--to kiss the hurt away and make it better, because you remember how good the two of you used to be together. What exactly is clouding your judgment, so you can finally stop the bleeding and simply move on?


Sometimes a bandage--even a tourniquet--isn't enough. You need to know when the patient is comatose and pull the plug. You are only fooling yourself if you can't see the signs. When you try to make sick relationships well, you become frustrated. Frustration turns to resentment because you've given so much of yourself.


Resentment builds to anger, and is a counterproductive emotion to solving relationship problems. Don't GIVE UP YOURSELF--your identity--to save your relationship. Living alone in peace should trump staying in a maddening relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. There are things worse than living alone.


Maybe you need to examine your good friendships. Your friends are smart, successful, beautiful--and most of them are single! But remember what qualities attracted you to them in the first place.


You would NEVER tolerate the kind of bad behavior in your girlfriends that you do in your love interest(s). You would be annoyed and long gone!

So, the question is, how do you break the vicious cycle? Start with yourself. Raise your self-esteem. Be content with and by yourself. If something is broken, you don't have to fix it, no matter what time you have invested in it.


Society teaches us to think we're abnormal if we are not coupled, in a committed relationship or married. You're reminded every time you walk out the door, when you enter a public place--a restaurant, bar, movie. What woman eats out alone? Socializes at night alone? Couples are everywhere.


If you really feel that something is missing from  your life, and that a loving relationship would complete you (not because society tells you so, or your insecurities compel you), try to hold men up to the same high standards as your female friends.


Remember, only you can control what you are willing to tolerate in a relationship--not your partner. Make yourself whole. Make yourself healthy. Today.

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