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Five things about Obama that people whose lives he upset could care less about

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Despite his administration’s seizure of Associated Press phone records this past May, Barack Obama still clearly has friends at the AP. One of them, Darlene Superville, was willing to risk ridicule by delivering up a bit of fluff on Monday under the title “5 New Things About President Obama.”

At first blush, that headline sounds ominous, coming as it does at a time when Congressional Democrats seek to distance themselves from the president and his star-crossed health care law. But then, you scroll down to the meat of the article and see this familiar photo of him goofily grinning and you know all is well in the sleepy hamlet of Superville.

The new earth-shattering revelations taken together are an effort to humanize Obama — to remind Americans whose spirits have been laid low by five years of chronic unemployment and new-found knowledge that their health insurance has been canceled that he’s the same lovable scamp. Superville reports breathlessly that he sings in the bathroom, that he broke his nose playing basketball, that his daughter has a peanut allergy, and too much else that any sane person who ever found Obama tolerable, much less likeable, stopped giving a damn about eons ago.

One of the “facts” surprised in this smarmy bit of mindless PR is that “this president can cook”:

Obama said the mothers of the Pakistani roommates he had in college in 1980 taught him how to cook a traditional South Asian meat dish called keema, a lentil dish known as daal ‘and other very good Pakistani food.’

Obviously, that is also where he learned to pronounce the name of the country pock-ee-stahn. Presumably, he didn’t have a roommate from Afghanistan and, so, is content to pronounce that country name without a silly accent.

What is most astonishing is the timing of the piece. Attempting to reinvigorate the cult of Obama, which has been hemorrhaging members since it was revealed that he has been lying to their faces, is futile. But coming at this particular point in time, the effort serves only to mock a man who once promised unparalleled transparency but has been transparent only in his nakedly political attempts to shirk responsibility for his errors.

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