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Five simple steps to really Hijack RAW (and one to enjoy wrestling again).

So you purchased your tickets to tonight’s episode of WWE RAW months ago, and the direction of the company isn’t what you thought it would be going into tonight. In that case, maybe you’re one of those people for whom the Hijack RAW movement has become incredibly appealing.

The original Hijack RAW manifesto, uninspired and unoriginal.
The original Hijack RAW manifesto, uninspired and unoriginal.
Twitter, @chicagoRAWcrowd

The Hijack RAW manifesto for tonight’s episode of WWE RAW is already set and has already been seen by thousands of eyes across social media (and possibly offline as well), but the manifesto offers little in the way of unique or interesting ways of disrupting RAW or changing the course of WWE.

With that in mind, here are a few suggestions for how to actually hijack an episode of RAW and create a show that WWE would have no interest in airing.

1. Enjoy near-complete silence at the intro.

Given that we all understand that the Hijack RAW crowd will make up less than fifty percent of the audience, it is impossible to ask for total silence in this section, but one can try.

Imagine the weird feeling of tuning into a Chicago RAW to a crowd reaction so mediocre you’d think it was a taping in Corpus Christi? WWE thrives on fan participation, one way or the other, so if you want to hijack the show, don’t give it to them. Sit on your hands if you have to, but just stare blankly ahead. Maybe even bring in blank signs and raise them quietly over your head as some sort of avant-garde statement about your dissatisfaction with the current product.

But whatever you do, do not react to the start of this show. After all, the product is just SO DISAPPOINTING that if you didn’t already spend your money on the seats, you’d be anywhere else.

2. Talk amongst yourselves whenever The Authority cuts a promo.

Have you ever been in a public space and just taken a moment to absorb the cacophony of overlapping conversation? Now imagine how that would come across on television.

Don’t boo. Don’t cheer. Don’t chant. Just talk to the person you’re sitting next to. Make some friends. Complain about this terrible polar vortex and how exhausted you are of winter. Just enjoy 10-15 minutes of a calm, quiet discussion with friends, completely ignoring whatever sort of non-action is occurring in the ring.

3. Make Batista’s appearance your designated merch/bathroom break.

Feel free not to buy merchandise, of course (at the end of the day, making a difference with a company like WWE is not about your voice but your wallet), but use this opportunity to absolutely cram the mezzanine. A visual of WWE fans actively turning their backs on Batista is a powerful one for future video packages for Batista’s inevitable heel turn. A crowd of people getting up and leaving, though? It doesn’t say “we don’t like you” or “we hate you,” it says “we absolutely do not care about you one way or the other,” and THAT is the ultimate message to send.

4. Leave before the show is over.

This one is a tough sell. After all, you purchased your ticket and you want to get the most out of your money. But given that this Hijack RAW movement is all about changing the show and the course of WWE, you might have to make some sacrifices. So walk out on the main event. Start streaming out of the building about half an hour early at a leisurely pace. Give the impression to people watching that you actually don’t like the product.

5. Do not even discuss the show on social media.

This one is another tough sell, but it’s a good method. WWE prides itself on being a socially active program, bragging about its number one trends throughout the broadcast. So don’t give them the pleasure. Think of it like step 2, but online. This is one even fans at home can participate in.

Overall, the point to remember is that WWE thrives on attention. Throwing money at the product, throwing eyeballs at the product, discussing it, raging over it, anything which amounts to discussing WWE is giving them exactly what they want. It doesn’t matter how they get the attention. What matters is that the attention generates interest. So don’t give it to them.

Or, as an alternative, If you truly hate the product, then check out of WWE for a spell and explore other promotions. In the online world, there are dozens of independent promotions that are 100% worth your time. They may not have the accessibility that WWE has, but they have talented individuals, unique characters, and a style all their own.

Rather than create brief manifestos which seek to change the product somehow by behaving in exactly the same way that crowds have been behaving for months now, actually change the behavior of the one person you have control over: yourself. Don't Hijack RAW. Hijack whatever obsessive impulse keeps you tuning in to a product that makes you angry.

Go check out an indy and have fun watching wrestling again.

Disagree? Feeling a little feisty? You can shout at me on Twitter @midcrdmanifesto.