Earlier I wrote about Five Fictional Restaurants I Wish I Could Visit, now, here are Five Fictional Restaurants I Would Skip.
5. Ten Forward - Star Trek: The Next Generation
You'd think a fancy restaurant on a space ship in the future would have some good eats and drinks. Think again. Instead of 'real' food, everything is made by replicators--and here's the skinny on replicators: they "recycle waste product into usable material." Uh. Excuse me? Are you saying this swordfish steak could have been the bottom of someone's boot (...or worse)?
Oh, and they serve non-alcoholic synthehol instead of real booze, which makes Ten Forward about as much fun as a dry wedding in December. Pass.
4. Pig Burgers - Better Off Dead
I like a juicy burger as much as the next guy, but the staff at Pig Burgers ain't exactly skilled in the field of burger engineering. Also, I don't want to eat something that was playing guitar a few minutes earlier.
3. Mos Eisley Cantina - Star Wars: A New Hope
Pirates. Crooks. People gettin' shot by Indiana Jones in cold blood and/or havin' their arms cleaved off by old guys with lightsabers. And that droid hating owner is Tatooine's answer to Archie Bunker. Skip it, you'll live longer.
2. The Slaughtered Lamb - An American Werewolf in London
Let's see. The last two Yanks who visited the Slaughtered Lamb were either killed by a werewolf, or became a werewolf. No thanks. I'm hairy enough already.
1. Rick's Café Américain - Casablanca
Sure, Rick's sounds like a fun place: booze, gambling, great live music. But, when there is a good chance for heartbreak or being captured by the Nazis, I would say that International House of Couscous down the street is looking better by the second. A trip to Rick's is just asking for emotional and/or physical trouble.
Which fictional restaurants or bars would you skip? Let me know in the comments.
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Daniel J. Hogan is the co-host of LansingNext, a freelance writer and creator of the Magic of Eyri Podcast.
Comments
My first thought was "Milliways, the Restaurant at the End of the Universe!" from the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. It's main draw is that you get to watch the end of the universe as you dine, but personally I wouldn't find that very interesting. Kind of a gloomy setting for dinner.
@ Jim -- Milliways is featured in the sister article, "Five Fictional Restaurants I Wish I Could Visit" :)
I'm thinking The Overlook Hotel (King's the Shining) dinning room Is one to miss during the Winter season.
Krusty Burger
I suggesting avoiding most of the restaurants in "Fight Club". If you have to eat there, avoid the clam chowder.
@everyone else - haha great suggestions!
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