First Auntie Zeituni and now…Uncle Onyango

**************UPDATE******************UPDATE**************************

September 9, 2011

Now that everybody is writing about Obama’s illegal alien uncle released from jail, I think we can speculate about his future.

View slideshow: Uncle Onyango

My guess is that he has been told to, “Get lost.” Something that he did pretty well for 48 years, especially in the past 19 years when he was an illegal alien absconder along with the 600,000 other illegal aliens ordered deported. He simply melded into the fabric of our society, never to be heard from again, until he got busted.

I can imagine some Barack Hussein Obama supporter/protector telling him;

“Look, Onyango, here’s some money to get you settled. Go to the Mexican Embassy with a new name, not your own, and get an ITIN number from the U.S. Department of Labor representative there…what? Look, don’t worry, they’re all set up and expecting you.

Get that ITIN number and take this money and move someplace else and get settled. Get a job and stay out of trouble. What? OK, we'll work out the Social Security payments, then. SSI, too? OK...WHATEVER.

Now, listen up. Don’t talk to the press. Grow a beard or a goatee or a mustache, at least. Wear a hat and Oakleys when you go out. And stay outta trouble.

Here’s a number to call 24/7 if you do get stopped by the police. Be sure you have them call it them BEFORE they fingerprint you.

And walk to the bars from now on. Now, go. Get lost. We don’t wanna hear from you, or about you, again.”

And the chances of him being in the news again are going to be pretty slim.

Unless he gets blind drunk and crashes his car into a busload of schoolgirls and they find a Fast and Furious AK-47 in the trunk.

Then we might just hear about it.

****************************END UPDATE****************************

August 28, 2011

Onyango Obama from Kenya was arrested for drunk driving last week. Now, it isn’t absolutely 110% certain that this is President Barack Hussein Obama’s uncle. I mean, he has the same name as Obama’s uncle. He has the same date of birth as Obama’s uncle. He is from Kenya same as…well. And he is an illegal alien living in Boston, like the President's Auntie Zietuni; the first Obama relative with illegal immigration status that came to our attention.

Glenn Beck almost cried about her...almost.

And now, we get introduced to another member of Obama’s illegal alien extended family.

Here’s the original story:

Cops: Illegal immigrant drove drunk in Framingham

I guess none of the “journalists” recognized the name Obama or thought anything of the fact that he is from Kenya. Well...that’s understandable.

Framingham appears to be a haven for illegal aliens.

And, what the heck? He only blew a .14, almost twice the legal limit for blood alcohol, but come on. He didn’t kill a whole family, or drag an American citizen under his vehicle and then back over him, killing him. Or crash into a car with three Benedictine Nuns, killing one instantly.

Drunk driving illegal aliens aren’t really a problem anyway, are they?

But, to be fair, the media was busy reporting the shocking, shocking 5.8 earthquake on Tuesday. Someone Tweeted that Californians stir their coffee with a 5.8. And, there was some damage to report. <<yawn>>, excuse me. And that pushed this story of the drunk driving illegal alien obsconding Presidential Uncle Onyango Obama right out of the news, I guess.

I also heard that it rained in New York City over the weekend, so that kept it out of the news, too.

But, quite soon I expect that someone is going to point out that the annual calibration sticker on the side of the Breathalyzer they used was out of date or, you know, is going to be out of date sometime in the next six months.

Or, maybe the Breathalyzer was stored in the evidence locker next to some fermenting lemons confiscated from a kid's lemonade stand and that skewed the alcohol reading.

Or, feature this: Perhaps a “citizen” will come forward and swear on a stack of Korans that he saw the racist cop drop the Breathalyzer, two or three or four times, kicking it across the pavement, bonking Onyanga in the head, thereby knocking it out of calibration, before it was used on Mr. Obama.

And in light of this new "evidence" they will just have to drop the charges. Sorry.

Now, before you deduce that Mr. Obama is going to be deported, just because of that previous nasty ole deportation order, deduce again.

Under the Barack Hussein Obama Amnesty of August 18th, Onyango won’t necessarily be deported.

He hasn’t been convicted of a crime and even if he has, he can be exempted according to the Morton Memo on Prosecutorial Discretion. Read the last bullet point:

whether the person is currently cooperating or has cooperated with federal, state or local law enforcement authorities, such as ICE, the U.S Attorneys or Department of Justice, the Department of Labor, or National Labor Relations Board, among others.

Now, presuming that Uncle Onyango isn’t currently cooperating with the National Labor Relations Board investigating an evil racial-profiling employer who actually had the audacity to ask him to fill out an I-9 form, he can easily avoid deportation by offering to work with the Department of Justice in trying to locate President Obama’s birth certificate. There. He’s covered for life. He could also claim he is nursing.

Ah, Social Justice. Thy name is Double Standard.

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