We humans are creatures of pleasure. We generally avoid pain and seek pleasure and some find pleasure even in pain, but we still seek pleasure it what ever way we can get it. So why is it then, that over 50% of us only allow very small amounts of pleasure into our lives and our bodies?
The answer to this question is simple yet complex. You might think that receiving pleasure is an easy thing to do and in small amounts it is...but did you know that receiving pleasure is actually one of the hardest things we can do. Let me ask you to remember a time when you were being given too by your lover/partner while making love. I use this as an example because this is actually the one time that most of us allow ourselves to feel any pleasure at all. Recall the scene and how you felt, now you may think that you were so open and really allowing yourself to feel a great deal of pleasure. But the truth is that you were most likely only allowing yourself to receive 1/3 of the pleasure that your body was capable of receiving. So the question is, “how much pleasure are you willing to allow into your body?”
We are all born with an enormous capacity for pleasure. A healthy baby can feel pleasure in every part of his or her body. Freud called this capacity "polyperverse infantile sexuality" and suggested that we outgrow it, showing clearly his attitude towards pleasure. What if we don't have to outgrow this immense capacity for pleasure? What if we can free ourselves to get it back again? And what happens to our sex lives then? Bret Lyon, PHD
YOUR PLEASURE QUOTIENT
Your Pleasure Quotient is how much pleasure, and for this book specifically bodily pleasure, you are allowing yourself to receive. I spoke briefly about this in my first book, Hot Body, a Complete Guide to Your Erogenous Zones. Your body can only allow as much pleasure as you are willing to receive at any one time. Most of us have blocks or armoring that we hold in our bodies that prevent us from fully letting go into whatever pleasurable experience we are receiving.
Breathing and How Body Armoring is Created
It all starts with breathing. As a baby we breathe fully and freely, using our entire body. As we breathe, energy flows through us, without anything getting in the way. And wherever the energy flows, we can feel pleasure.
As children up until the age of 3 we are allowed to express ourselves in our bodies with a great deal of freedom. When a child feels any feeling they show it, express it without thinking about whether it is appropriate to do that. Little children's bodies are unencumbered with armoring, unless they have had early childhood trauma. Beginning with age 3 or 4 we begin to learn how we are supposed to behave. What we can and can not do in public, we learn how to shut down our emotions and to repress and so we hold them in the tissues of our body. As we get older, however, we learn to tighten our muscles and restrict our breathing to keep from feeling emotions that are painful. We find that physical tightening helps us "control ourselves" so that we don't get into trouble by doing something we shouldn't. Also, many of us as children, receive punishment or disapproval for feeing too good. We're told we're being "too silly," "too wild," even "too happy." Or we show too much interest in certain parts of our body — or someone else.
These blocks in the body are called armoring because they prevent you from fully feeling pleasure. In order to be fully sexual you need to be able to be fully sensual, deriving pleasure form the sensations in many parts of your body as you open to full energy flow. That is why learning how to open to what is called an “oceanic” breath or flow breathing it feels like a wave running through your entire body. The breath has always been crucial in opening the body to feel more blissful. In fact when you allow yourself to breathe in this way you are laying a template for sexual bliss.
Increasing your ability to feel more pleasure in your body is a healthy thing to do and something that most know little about. What I have observed over the years of working with many people, is that for most of us, we settle for so little of what we are truly capable of experiencing in our bodies and in life as well. Most of us think that the way we are is the way we are and that we can do little to change that. I know for certain that this is not the case. Especially when it comes to increasing Your Pleasure Quotient! You can clear the blocks from your body, practice new ways of breathing and receiving and begin to allow yourself to feel more pleasure than you ever thought possible.
What You Can Do To Release Your Body Armoring
1. Work with someone privately or take a workshop on helping you to break down your body armoring. (See Resource list below)
2. Practice becoming more sensitive to your energy where you feel blocked in your body. Just by being more aware you will begin to notice more often how your body feels under stress, or when working etc. Bringing this to the forefront of your consciousness is the first step.
3. Learn how to open to more full body breathing. There are many programs, classes and even private work that you can do to achieve a more fluid full bodied way of breathing especially during love making.
4. Take a workshop on Tantra or Sacred Sexuality which include breath work of some sort.
5. Sensitivity Training Exercises. You can even just practice with your partner, by taking turns in seeing how much pleasure you both are available to receive and practicing sensitivity training.
Here is a great exercise you can try.
Begin by lying on the floor or bed or even a massage table. Then have your partner touch your hair and then very slowly and gently moving down the entire body, caressing your face, ears etc. each body part. Have your partner give you feedback when they notice that you are tensing up, or when you have stopped breathing or are holding your breath. This is a type of sensitivity training that you can give to each other. When you are tensing up you can have your partner remind you to breathe and relax on the exhale. For now avoid going to the genitals since you will be the most sensitive in these areas. Focus on the rest of your body for this exercise.
I hope that by reading this you will be inspired to begin to cultivate your Pleasure Quotient. I encourage and invite you to take the time to explore your Pleasure Quotient and too begin to experience how truly wondrous your body is. Let go and begin to allow yourself to feel more pleasure than you ever thought you could.
I just wanted to let all of my readers know that I will soon be releasing two new books on Kindle Amazon. I will post the link here when they become available so stayed tuned in. Yea!