File this under what the heck were these parents thinking?

In my article Children and Pole Dancing I talk about this culture’s tendency to sexualize children.

I talk to teachers all the time and they relay stories to me about what is happening in their classrooms. Often they are hopeful when they feel they are making a difference in children’s lives. Lately, many are discouraged because they feel they are shouldering an unfair burden because they are blamed for what many feel is a failure in the education system. I write about some of the challenges at It's the Culture and the Values, Stupid  and Content Ratings Recently, I spoke with a teacher who teaches fourth grade in Snohomish County and she relayed the story of a fourth grader who came to school and was regaling everyone about the joys of pole dancing. At first, I was a bit shocked about a fourth grader who had such detailed knowledge about what I considered to be an adult activity. Then I did a bit of investigation and came across several stories about inappropriate activities for children. First, there is this post from the Huffington Post about The 7 Most Inappropriate Toys for Children and the Miley Cyrus pole dance which can be viewed in the resources section….

The culture seems to be sexualizing children at an ever younger age and it becomes more difficult for parents and guardians to allow children to just remain, well children, for a bit longer. Still, parents and guardians must do their part to make sure children are in safe and secure environments. A pole dancing fourth grader is simply unacceptable.

I love fashion and adore seeing adult looks on adults. Many 20 and 30 somethings prefer what I would charitably call the “slut chic” look. This look is questionable fashion taste, in my opinion, but at least the look involves questionable taste on the part of adults as to how they present themselves to the public.

Jamie Stengle of AP has an article which was reprinted in the Seattle Times, Parents, Doctors Debate Teetering Tots in Heels  The only thing I can say about these parents is they probably need their heads examined.

A pair of sparkly, peekaboo shoes with heels 2 inches high are favorites of 6-year-old Helena Bell ever since she got them for a wedding.

"She's worn them to the point where the jewels have fallen off," says Helena's mother, Dana Bell of Woodland Hills, Calif. "It's not my preference, but I've stopped fighting it."

The heels aren't allowed at school, but the first-grader slips on her white treasures first thing when she gets home and wears them to church every Sunday. "I think if it's within reason, it's OK," her mom says.

As images of 3 1/2-year-old Suri Cruise out and about in blingy heels recently hit magazines and the Internet, reactions to the grown-up look for not-so-old kids have ranged from cries of inappropriate to defense of a little girl's right to be girlie. Suri's mom, Katie Holmes, told Access Hollywood she considers the kitten heels supportive because they were made specifically for kids learning ballroom dancing.

Samantha Fein of San Jose, Calif., says her 6-year-old daughter has attracted some double-edge remarks - "My, look at your big girl shoes" - when she wears her knee-high boots with a 2-inch chunky heel or her brown wedges with only slightly less height. Fein notes that her child wears sneakers 90 percent of the time and heels on special occasions, like birthday parties.

"It's not like I'm sending her to the park in them," she says. "I think there's a time and a place for everything."

The San Francisco Bay area is pretty fashion forward, so it's not unusual to see girls that young wearing heels. Fein says they've helped her daughter learn to walk like a lady. "They're definitely not suggestive at all. Suggestive to me is inappropriate."

The phenom falls in line with other trends in clothing, books, music and movies once reserved for older audiences trickling down the age ladder.

As Christina Vercelletto, senior editor of Parenting magazine, has been putting together the spring fashion edition, she's noticed shoes for girls as young as 5 and 6 sporting heels as high as an inch.

"I am seeing these heeled shoes, shoes that would be considered a little too grown up typically for a girl that age," she says. "I think it's definitely a trend for 5- or 6-year-olds."

In years past, Vercelletto says, heels usually stopped at sizes for 8- or 9-year-olds. She unsuccessfully tried to nab a pair of stacked heel boots that arrived in a bag of hand-me-downs for her own 6-year-old but wasn't quick enough. Now, Vercelletto tries to keep them out of sight in the back of a closet.

"I do feel that it's rushing it a little to put a girl 3 years old in shoes like that," said Vercelletto, among those who fear the physical perils.

Are these same parents going to feign amazement when their daughter makes some inappropriate life choices like having an early pregnancy, making the wrong choice in acquaintances and perhaps becoming the victim of sexual harassment or rape? Are these same parents going to be amazed that their daughter chooses to advance her career by becoming the next Monica Lewinsky or becoming one of David Letterman’s pals?  If parents or guardians allow their children to be sexualized at too early an age and the children are not ready for all the consequences, let’s hope the idiot parents are.

I think the parents in these situations are trying to be their child’s friend.  In reality what the child needs is loving direction and boundaries. Children can become fashionistas during their teen years, but five and six year olds simply need to be children.  

Dr. Wilda says this about that ©