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Fictitious Motors Fuel Hose Fairy Tale - Part One

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Once upon a time long long ago deep in the enchanted forest of La La Land, the employees of Fictitious Motors were neck deep in the first week of a two week launch. Each time a new car was launched, nose to nose communications reached the point where everyone in La La Land, from the top down, screamed at everyone else. The cacophony of noise created by the screaming employees fixed nothing, and so it continued. Everyone in La La Land was happy. The Goblins and Hobgoblins wearing pocket protectors screamed at the departments who designed the parts that were supposed to fit together to build more boring gray, blue, white and black Fictitious Motor's cars. This unabated mutual battering was strange, as many of the car parts were just repeats of last year's offerings, all of which were also used in most of Fictitious Motor's other monotonous car models.

The screaming continued day after night after day, for the entire two weeks. Some of the workers dropped dead, but no one noticed. Nothing stopped the car building line, at Fictitious Motors. The employees dead bodies were dragged out, while the launch screaming continued. Everyone was on the carpet for something, even if all of those somethings had nothing to do with the problems that needed fixing. In one case, the critical problem was a two and a half inch long one half inch in diameter fuel hose. The fuel hose was rubber on the outside and rubber on the inside with a braided nylon liner in between the two rubber layers. The part was attached from the fuel pressure regulator to the metal fuel line, that fed into the engine. The part was held on by clamps. The design was too light, for what it was being asked to do.

When the Hobgoblins and Goblins wearing pocket protectors demanded engineering changes for this particular critical safety related fuel hose, the powers that be Blue Monsters refused. The Blue Monsters refused, because the bean counting Purple Beasts were screaming at them about cost containment. The loud resounding answer was no to any engineering changes, on the hose. The Blue Monsters shouted back tot he Hobgoblins and the Goblins wearing pocket protectors to get back to the manufacturing floor. The Blue Monsters and the Purple Beasts had screamed their final answer. Engineering changes were too expensive, regardless of the safety factor. The Hobgoblins and the Goblins wearing pocket protectors were screamed out of the Engineering Department, and back to the chaos of the launch, in progress. They had learned their lesson regarding alerting Fictitious Motors about safety related parts problems. Requesting an engineering change was such a serious infraction of the Fictitious Rules of Conduct, that the Hobgoblins and the Goblins wearing pocket protectors were threatened with having their files red tagged, as boat rockers. Having your file red tagged meant no more Fictitious raises, and no more Fictitious promotions.

Back on the manufacturing floor, the noisy launch continued unabated. Fictitious employees ran in different directions, confused by a maze of conflicting sets of guidelines, specs, directions, parts difficulties, and directives from multiple sources. No one ever saw the mysterious Fictitious Motors top floor Elves, as they were too busy clawing all of the company supplied golden rocks, benefits, and money to their side of the office. Once the top floor Elves had their mountain of benefits gathered, these golden rocks, special benefits and perks were lowered thru a fictitious window to an awaiting car far below the top floor. The top floor Elves avoided carrying their goodies thru the office hallway, so that their true mission avoided detection. (to be continued)

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