Our children and grandchildren are easily influenced, especially when they are quite young. All ages of children, are affected by their environment. We may remember some of the horror stories of our own childhood experiences...experiences that may have stayed with us in almost unconscious ways. Getting locked in a bathroom or a photograph or picture that horrified us hanging in our home or the home of a close relative. Consider using some of the principles of Feng Shui to help provide your children and grandchildren with more peaceful, calming environments.
Look at the room from the point of view of a child: What does a room look like from the vantage point of a young child? What do they look at before they go to sleep and when they wake up? Are there things that might be frightening or confusing to a child? Clutter, noise, and light in a room can have a strong effect on children. Set up easy-to-access shelves, cupboards, and workspaces. My granddaughter and daughter cleared out a kitchen cupboard where my granddaughter has set up her “office.” All her school and creative supplies are neatly organized and managed by my granddaughter. The kitchen is one of main places in our house where we do homework or work on different projects, so her office fits right in. Arrange the rooms the children use the most, so that they have accessibility to what they use and play with. Help children by providing space for them, setting up appropriate furniture and storage, and by being more organized yourself. They learn by watching what we do and what we don’t do. Set a good example.
Show your grandchildren and children how to keep clutter to a minimum. We become what we learn to become. When we are not taught how to pick up after ourselves, we tend to grow up believing someone will come around later and hang our clothes up. This often translates into marriage behavior, if we do not learn at some point, how to keep our own things in order. Clutter builds up when we don’t make it a priority to make clearing clutter a regular habit. Teaching children to clear clutter, may be a little more difficult at first, but by helping children develop good habits, they are free to take pride in keeping their space organized. I worked on this, as has my daughter, with my grandchild. Now she enjoys creating her special spaces. She said to me over the holidays, “I like cleaning things up and putting things away. I’m not sure why, but I do.” I know why; she’s taking pride in keeping her space beautiful and organized, and it feels better. Develop the practice of recycling and giving things away that have been outgrown. For every new thing we buy (clothes, toys, equipment), we give something away.
Arrange children’s bedrooms for restful, healthy sleep. Beds should have the heads facing in the proper direction. It’s best to have the headboard against a solid wall. If the room won’t allow that, then push the bed so one side is flush with a wall (preferably in inner wall as that keeps outside noise and cold out). Avoid the bed being directly in line with the doorway, but have the bed where a child can see the doorway. There are different ideas about the best direction to face the bed. If you notice your child is having a hard time sleeping or getting restful sleep, change the bed and find out if that helps. I move my own bed periodically, until I find the direction that gives me the most serene night’s sleep.
Bedrooms should be yin (calm energy), however often a child’s room is also a play room. In that case, make putting things away part of the daily ritual, (earlier in the day; not at bedtime). Before bath time or story time, make it a habit to help your child put things away so that the yang (active, stimulating) things are put away. Clutter alone can be stimulating. If everything is put away, a room is much more restful. All the dolls are asleep in the doll house. Stuffed animals have been put to bed, blocks are back in the box, and the room is calm and quiet. A dark room makes for more restful sleep. However, a tiny, plug in night light or a lady bug light, may provide a comforting atmosphere for going to sleep. My granddaughter likes me to sing her lullabies while she is sleeping. My daughter has some lovely lullaby music that she plays for her to go to sleep to. Some children, however, need quiet, so depending upon the personality and needs of your child or grandchild, provide them with what it takes to enter into a restful night’s sleep. Avoid watching movies or shows or reading stories that are potentially scary. On Christmas Eve we had a child wake from a horrible nightmare about the Grinch stealing her presents from Santa. Maybe not the best movie to watch for a child with a vivid imagination. Monitor bedtime sounds (radio, television, computer), stories, and conversations. Again, remember, children are affected and stimulated through their senses, and our loud voices and jarring music might not be the best thing for creating a peaceful environment for children.
Visuals. Look at the room from your child’s point-of-view. What does your grandchild or child see? Place photographs of the family that show you happy together. What goes in, comes out. What we take in through our senses, affects and becomes part of our behavior. While we don’t need to live our lives as children or on a child’s level, we ought to be sensitive to the differences between adults and children, and what children might need. Create beautiful, uplifting, and supportive environments for children and for yourself. Use Feng Shui principles to arrange rooms, bring in soothing color to bedrooms, and stimulating color in areas where you need more energy. Again, get rid of clutter, and arrange with intention. If all I have to serve for dessert is a bowl of fruit, I place it on a beautiful (though old) table cloth and set it in the middle of the table. It serves as a centerpiece, and it brings attention to the offering of something sweet for my company. Remember, bright colors (primary colors) are energizing and good for play rooms. Softer, more muted pastels are better for bedrooms. Creating a visually appealing table setting (something children love to do), or allowing the children to help you rearrange, can help you train your children to train themselves to view life in a more aesthetically pleasing way.
Look under the bed. I recall vividly as a child, being afraid of what was under the bed or in the closet. Knowledge is power. Regularly look under the bed with your child. Encourage your children to keep the space beneath the bed free of things. Look in corners and closets, making sure they are kept from becoming “scary, energy-sapping dump sites.”
Develop rituals: Children love to know what to expect. Rituals provide ways for children to discover what is expected. Helping to set and decorate the table at meal times, saying grace or talking about special blessings or what we are thankful for at mealtimes are all rituals that children enjoy. A friend of mine introduced me to a Bulgarian practice of making a special blessing stick and giving family members blessings. It is done for Christmas, but the idea of giving and receiving special blessings within the family, can do much to instill a sense of love, kindness, and reverence for one another. Bath time and bedtime rituals also provide a sense of security and peacefulness. Reading special bedtime stories, singing or listening to a gentle lullaby, saying prayers together or having Mommy or Daddy telling a special story help create a sense of harmony. Doing room blessings, and having special ceremonies in the home, also help create the idea that our homes are sacred places where everything we do is helped by being in alignment with divine principles and in harmony with the cycles, rhythms, and patterns of our lives.
As we in San Francisco begin 2012, let’s take some time to slow down a bit, consider what life looks like from the perspective or our children and grandchildren, and spend a little more time creating a home that is a haven for all members of the family. Happy New Year, San Francisco Bay area, and everyone everywhere. Go peacefully through the year.
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