Uh oh. Seems like the last few articles of this column provoked the release of a lot of pent-up frustration by women toward men and vice versa. If anyone thinks that all of the men and women in today's dating scene think fondly of each other, think again. There are single men in society today that feel frustrated by women's behavior. Similarly, there are many women in society who believe this is the worst generation of eligible ... or not-so-eligible ... bachelors ever.
That said, I now present you with my 15th Edition of Feedback from Readers. As most of my long-time readers know, I usually feature feedback I have received from my male and female readers after every five-to-seven articles that have been published for this column. Since my last installment of Feedback from Readers, I have had seven articles and one movie review.
[Note: Most of the first names have been changed for the sake of anonymity, and many questions and/or comments may have been edited, condensed or paraphrased to some degree in order to either save space or correct spelling and grammatical errors]
Email feedback in response to the article, Men will usually cheat as long as there are women who offer them the opportunity
From Glenn B.:
"Alan, I cannot tell you how on-point you were with your article about women being willing to have sex with men who are married, engaged, or already have a woman. Excuse my language, but there are some scandalous bitches out here. I always get more pu**y thrown at me when I am attached to someone than I do when I am single.
It's like, in women's eyes, your social market value increases when they know you have someone that you are content with. [Women] always want the challenge of being able to see if they can take a man away from his wife or woman. If not completely steal him away, at least borrow him for a few days or a few weeks. I have no respect for none of these [women] who throw pu**y at married men. My opinion? I believe there are more women who want to tempt a man who is already in a relationship to cheat than there are women who want to connect with a man who is single! Keep telling the truth Alan."
Alan Roger Currie's response: Next time Glenn, you need to be bolder and tell me how you REALLY feel. Okay? (sarcasm included, of course)
I have always said: If all women in society decided tonight that they were only going to have sex with a man who they were married to or engaged to, cheating by men would end overnight. Even to a lesser extreme, if all women said, I am going to refuse to have sex with any man who is married, engaged, or otherwise romantically involved, again ... cheating would end overnight.
The reality is, like I said in that article and you reiterated ... many women become aroused and excited over the prospect of having sex with a man who seems to be already sexually content with a spouse or female companion. I have actually met some women who have conveyed to me that they will ONLY interact romantically and sexually with married men. Bad karma is sure to come their way at some point in their lives.
Email feedback in response to the article, The history of 'casual' sex: feminists wanted sexual freedom ... and they got it
From Audrea W.:
"Mr. Currie, you are a chauvinist and sexist of the highest order. I believe the only reason women read your articles is because you are so easy to love to hate. Most of what you write is misogynistic drivel.
So life was great when men were able to have a wife and Lord knows how many mistresses on the side, but now that many women are able to have their cake and eat it too, you men want to all of the sudden whine and complain about it? Give me a fu**ing break.
My mother got cheated on by my father repeatedly, and she just sucked it up like most women in her generation did. From what I understand, both of my grandmothers were cheated on by both of my grandfathers. For the sake of maintaining their marriages, they chose to remain silent about it.
I for one am not going to let a man treat me like a sperm receptacle, unpaid nanny to his children, and unpaid maid to his dirty, nasty house. I have a career of my own, I make good money, and I do not need a man in my life other than to please me sexually from time to time.
You men need to wake up and realize that women run the show now Mr. Currie! We are more influential than at any previous time in our nation's history. Deal with it."
Alan Roger Currie's response: Thank you for the love and respect Audrea. I appreciate it. Glad you took time to read at least one of my articles. Unlike most of my unpaid nannies and unpaid maids who I force to read all of my articles, you are one of the few lucky women who get to pick and choose which articles tickle your fancy.
First off, you need to read my response to 'Glenn B.' above. No one "forces" a woman to become a married man's mistress or side piece. Women choose to be the on-the-side 'sperm receptacle' for a married man of interest.
I am sorry to hear that damn near every woman in your family's ancestry got cheated on ... but I have to say: what does that say about your mother and grandmothers' choice in men? I assume men with a low degree of moral character and integrity must have appealed to them. Your mother and both grandmothers chose to remain with their respective husbands. Again, no one "forced" them to.
So if society is now run by women, like you suggest, what have been the improvements? After all, would not you agree that the #1 objective for women to 'run things' would be to improve many aspects of society? Or no? Less marriages, more divorces, more babies out of wedlock, and more effeminate men. Yep. You just gotta love how society is improving these days. You be well, okay? Sincerely, Your favorite 'love-to-hate' Chauvinist / Misogynist / Sexist.
Email feedback in response to the article, The rise of masculine, dominant women and effeminate, submissive men in society
From Sara Lynn D.:
"Alan, I saw your article about 'dominant women and submissive men' on Facebook. I actually agree with a lot of what you said in your article. I also listened to your talk radio interview with Ms. Katarina Phang about similar issues.
Here is my frustration: I do not want to be the dominant partner in my romantic relationships with men, but in the long run, that is what usually happens. I more than want what you refer to as an 'Alpha male,' but the truth of the matter is, most of the men in today's society are weak, spineless punks.
Many of them will initially attempt to give you the impression that they are decisive leaders, but many of these men want to be mothered and taken care of. The few men who are very masculine and financially responsible have so many women at their beck and call that I am not willing to compete with the other women to fit into their rotation.
The current state of manhood is sad. Probably the worst it has ever been."
Alan Roger Currie's response: As a man, I cannot totally disagree with what you expressed. I would direct most of the blame on the (weak) men themselves, and a small portion on women (particularly mothers who have raised these weak men).
Most of my female Facebook friends are probably a tad bit frustrated with me right now, because I recently expressed some agitation with all of these "Real Men Do [fill in characteristic / personal attribute here]" quotes. A few examples would be, "Real Men Cook and Clean for their Wives" or "Real Men Make Their Women Feel Like Queens." I know some of these are lighthearted in tone, but I also know many women who post these sorts of quotes on a weekly, if not daily basis.
A woman can never validly describe what a 'Real Man' is, or how they should behave. That is women's first mistake. Only a man can teach another man how to be a 'Real Man.' Let's use the dictionary definition of 'real': Genuine; not counterfeit or imitation; not artificial; Authentic. Many women (and men) tend to have this mistaken belief that a 'real man' is one who is fawning, flattering, accommodating, gentle, emotionally sensitive, will do anything to please and impress a woman, etc. No, no, no.
Any man who is decisive, honest, sincere, financially and personally responsible, and accountable for his own actions is a 'real man.' He does not try to live up to the expectations of others, nor does he allow other people's subjective criticisms and personal opinions to dictate how he behaves. He totally "owns" his own personality. That ... in my mind ... is a real man. All of this other 'Metrosexual' influenced nonsense is invalid and detrimental to what true manhood is all about.
Sara Lynn . . . do not give in to weak men. Hold out until a decisive man with backbone comes your way.
Email feedback in response to the article, The 'platonic' husband: not all women marry because of genuine sexual attraction
From Darren R.:
"Wow! Alan my man, you dropped some pure knowledge in that article about men being a woman's platonic husband. I shared that article with just about all of my male friends. That article was hot fire for sure.
Thing is, a lot of these weak a** SIMP types don't mind being a woman's Beta Bitch Boy these days. It is a more elaborate and indefinite form of being a woman's 'trick.' Think about it Alan. A pimp sends his hoes out to take advantage of naive, horny, desperate men for a night. The trick pays the ho, and she gives up to half of her earnings to her pimp.
What you have now is, the Alpha males are boning women who are married to wealthy Beta males, and then those women are buying gifts for the Alpha males and taking care of them financially. Talk about high powered pimpin'!!!
If Beta males with money are foolish enough to think that all of their wives married for them for 'true love,' that is on them. They are stupid. I will never allow myself to get played like a woman's Beta Bitch Boy. Straight Alpha til the day I die!!"
Alan Roger Currie's response: Quick note: For those readers who may be a wee bit ignorant to the terms 'Alpha' male and 'Beta' male, please read the following previous articles from this column: 1) How women respond to you often times depends on your 'Alpha' vs. 'Beta' traits 2) Why the relationship between 'The Fonz' and 'Pinky Tuscadero' failed to last on ABC's 'Happy Days'
Darren, your feedback had me laughing out loud man. 'Beta Bitch Boy' is hilarious. If you read my book, The Possibility of Sex: How Naive and Lustful Men are Manipulated by Women Regularly, you know I expressed a lot of the same sentiments that you did in your feedback. Some men actually wrote me saying that portions of that book left them feeling depressed.
Believe it or not, there are some men who genuinely did not know that women would do something as hardcore as marry them for nothing more than financial support and platonic companionship, and then have a guy or two on the side who they were having sexual relations with. I hated to be the 'first one' to break that news to them, but that type of scenario been going on for at least the last 50-60+ years.
As I have said before, here is how you can always tell when you are a woman's 'Beta Bitch Boy' (or to put it more tamely, her 'platonic husband' or 'platonic boyfriend'):
1) The sex between you and your girlfriend / wife is infrequent and erratic at best
2) You find yourself having to almost "beg" your wife or girlfriend for sex
3) Your girlfriend or wife does a lot of socializing without you, particularly on Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays
4) You whine and complain about your woman's behavior far more than she whines and complains about your behavior
5) At minimum, you find yourself feeling 'taken for granted' ... and at maximum, you often feel 'disrespected' by your wife or girlfriend
6) Your wife or girlfriend is ready to leave you immediately anytime you're having financial troubles or you are in-between jobs
If you are a man reading this article, and you have experienced one or more of those six characteristics in your relationship with your wife, fiancée, or long-term girlfriend ... then that means that 99.9% chance, you are - as Darren would say - that woman's 'Beta Bitch Boy'.
Email feedback in response to the article, If prostitution is illegal, why is a 'Sugar Daddy-Sugar Baby' arrangement legal?
From Oren P.:
"Why limit your questions to women and sex - when those who make our laws are usually prostitutes of a different kind themselves? Why exclude the people who decide what is or is not 'legal'?
And if it is about amount of money or terms of the exchange you cannot just ignore how our financial system is set up. As for societal views about gender roles in relationship most people today seem a bit confused - especially in regard to women wanting to be simultaneously and situationally treated the same as yet different than men - to their advantage. Your questions seem more rhetorical than seeking any explanation or justification for our double standards."
Alan Roger Currie's response: I would not agree that I went out of my way to 'exclude' a lengthy and detailed discussion about the duplicity and hypocrisy demonstrated by man of our politicians and lawmakers. And yes ... many of my questions posed in my articles are rhetorical by design.
I agree with you that there are many double-standards that are executed and employed in society - some intentional, others more out of ingrained habit - that tend to benefit one side of the gender coin or the other. As long as we can agree to discuss and debate these issues objectively and maturely, I think we can always agree to highlight and hopefully weed out those that feed into the growing chasm between the two genders.
Email feedback in response to the article, Spoiled women: the 'nice guys' who love them & the 'jerks' who these women love to hate
From Dee Dee F.:
"With all due respect Mr. Currie, I am sick of men like you perpetuating this misguided myth that nine out of every ten women in society want a 'bad boy' or 'jerk' type rather than a kind, considerate gentleman. Where are you fools getting this from?
Ever since I was 25 or so, I have never been attracted to 'men behaving badly,' and I never will be again. If a man does not conduct himself with class and respect toward me, I want nothing to do with him. At all. I now only interact with a small circle of classy men who treat me with the highest degree of respect. They know I do not allow any foolishness from them.
Only women who love to be abused and disrespected love those bad boy and jerk types. No woman with high self-esteem would be caught dead in a relationship with a man of that nature.
My own father taught me that a man should 'spoil' a woman if he truly loves her. Don't you spoil your wife Mr. Currie? Oh wait, from what I have read, you are not married. You ever wonder why? LOL Get to spoiling some women and maybe you might find you a wife!"
Alan Roger Currie's response: Good to hear from a woman who has been married to a high quality, classy, socially refined man. Ooops! Oh wait ... aren't you are still single? Riiiiiiiiight. What benefit is it for you to have a 'small circle of classy men' that you socialize with if none of them are dropping down to one knee and proposing to you? Talk to my new friend Darren above. Maybe you have a small circle of Beta Bitch Boys at your disposal.
And your story sounds familiar: Mess around with the 'bad boys' between the ages of 16 and 24, or between 18 and 34, and then once you realize that none of them are going to marry you, you then start looking for the 'sweet, caring, compromising nice guys' that will let you throw punches at them and kick them in an elevator without consequences or retaliation.
And since you offered some words of wisdom from your father, I will share with you what my late mother once told me: All women want to be respected, and will ask to be respected ... but only a certain percentage of those women will actually do what it takes to truly earn a man's respect. My mother earned my father's respect, and that is why he married her, and remained married to her until his death. If I have a 'weakness' regarding my interactions with women, it would be that I feel as though my late mother raised the bar so high for my perception of what a 'quality' woman looks like and acts like, that many of the women I meet seem to fall a bit short of her exemplary standards.
Good luck with your 'small circle of platonic boyfriends.' When you finally get a ring on your finger, touch base with me again. I will give you a public congratulations.
As always, thank you for taking time to read my articles!
Alan Roger Currie is the author of a number of books, including Mode One: Let the Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking and Oooooh . . . Say it Again: Mastering the Fine Art of Verbal Seduction and Aural Sex. Currie's latest eBook, The Possibility of Sex: How Naive and Lustful Men are Manipulated by Women Regularly is also available exclusively on Amazon.com in their Kindle format. You can also download a copy of Currie's eBook on your iPhone, Android Smartphone, or other Smartphone.
Upfront & Straightforward with Alan Roger Currie, the most-listened to talk radio podcast program in the category of "Romance" and "Self-Help for Relationships" on the BlogTalkRadio Internet Radio Network, can be heard LIVE every Thursday evening at 10:00pm EST / 7:00pm PST. Visit http://www.blogtalkradio.com/modeone and http://modeone.net for more details
Currie offers email, telephone, and Skype consultations to both men and women; Visit http://modeone.net/products to purchase a consultation.