In these uncertain times, parents are extremely vulnerable to feeling overwhelmed by fear, uncertainty and doubt. Parenting, in and of itself, puts parents at-risk because parenting is always a negotiation between what parents can control and what they can’t control. The major stresses of parenting – getting children to eat, sleep, potty, resist peer pressure, make good decisions, study hard, be successful – are rarely accomplished through parent willfulness and determination. They are accomplished with mutual regard, skill-building and problem solving. Now add an uncertain world with financial instability and conflicting social-political values and it takes a conscious choice to say “no” to fearful parenting.
Fear undermines the parent-child relationship and a parent’s ability to teach. From reading and math to social/emotional competencies, children’s brains are wired such that stress and fear derail all learning. See Kim John Payne’s description of Simplicity Parenting to change flight-or-fight syndrome brain chemistry in a stressful world.
Fearless parenting suggests:
- You have all the tools at your fingertips right now to make good-enough decisions today.
- You are smarter than your child and therefore can lead, sometimes in baby steps, to find routines and solutions that help children to grow and learn.
- Regardless of ANY external event, you can be the kind of parent you want to be – loving, guiding, comforting, and learning. Consider parents who lived in extreme historic times like the inspirational movie, Life is Beautiful.
- You can protect children and childhood – that’s what grown-ups do….no matter what! Look at some of the work by Nancy Carllson Paige on Taking Back Childhood.
We are ENOUGH! We may not know what the future holds for ourselves, our children or the world but parents can take comfort and strength in the knowledge that they absolutely have the power and the ability to do right by kids.
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