When a relationship ends, everyone reacts differently. It's not often that I am tempted to rebound, but this week, I felt an overwhelming urge to date any man that ever showed interest in me.
The struggle between my mind and heart begun and I knew I had a choice to make. When discerning truth, I always ask, "Where is this leading? To life or death?" I knew very well dating the men that came to mind would not end well for either of us... especially not them.
Regardless of this awareness, I was unsure of what was causing this desire until a priest asked me, "What's behind it?"
I thought for a few mins and realized it was insecurity. I lost my confidence to discern a relationship because the last one didn't turn out the way I expected. Looking back, I realize the importance of discerning God's will for the relationship together. If you want God to write your love story, it needs to be His pace, His timing, His will.
So my lesson is learned. Why the fast? My heart is ready to call men to a higher standard. Dating is no longer for me, but courting is. I made a commitment to discern the next relationship I enter into last year. I did discern this past dating relationship, but it was not a unified effort and it didn't work.
Courting is a friendship of two people interested in discerning if God is calling them to come together in a loving relationship which may lead to marriage. There are no guarantees when this type of relationship starts, but there is an honesty that prevents things from moving forward until both hearts are open. This is also a good foundation of making prayer the center of the relationship.
What will Lent bring? I am not exactly sure, but I already feel more free not having to worry about my next relationship, Valentine's Day, or any other things that could distract me from God and His true purpose for my life.
If you're being tempted to make a rash decision after a heartache, be patient, think twice, and pray. Usually the first inspiration that comes to mind is the desire of the ego to prove a point, try to control things, or look for attention. Go with the Spirit.