Last night's episode of "Fashion Police" starring Joan Rivers, and her entourage, Kelly Osbourne was still recuperating from her seizure, and standing in for this sports month of fashion was Laila Ali. George Kotsiopoulos and Giuliana Rancic were the regulars and both there all were wishing Kelly a speedy get-well.
The five "Must-See Looks of the Week" began in descending order, with Dita Von Teese in a three-dimensional printed dress. The last time Joan saw mountains like that, Julie Andrews was crossing over them with seven singing children. She has the perfect body for the dress. Number four was Blake Lively at the premiere of "The Croods," with a furry creature that looked like Ashley Olson's coat from last week's episode. The burgundy dress she was wearing received the thumbs down. Next was NeNe Leakes, in a long glowing gown. Leila does not like the blond hair, which did nothing for her, and the Lanvin dress had the name as part of the design. Her pop of color pink shoes and showing her leg and cleavage were no help for this look. Number two was Rose McGowan on her way to a salon wearing an owl printed tee shirt with a see-through rain poncho over it. She looks frumpy; the poncho looks cute if you are seven. Number one was Kim Kardashian wearing all white outfit; way too much for a petite woman, pregnant or not. Leila said it is more like something her mother would wear.
The next segment was "Hot Ticket," where they went to Paris Fashion Week. Amanda Seyfried wore a geometric Givenchy dress with one bare arm. Joan said she was too pale, and it is hard to get sun in Anne Hathaway's shadow. All agreed the dress was lovely and Leila agreed that she could use a tan. Kate Moss in a suit without pants and fishnet stockings was totally without class. Giuliana asked what next? Joan said she would wear crotchless Depends. January Jones, who Joan said has seen more famous penises than the urinals at the Academy Awards, looked blah in a long jacketed outfit with shorts.
Actress Rachel Bilson then joined the group with her stylist, Nicole Chavez. They met on the set of "The O.C." where they became good friends. Nicole works with other stars too. Rachel and Nicole have a line of shoes. For Rachel's first "what was I thinking?" fashion moment was jeans with a dress over them, that did not work.
In keeping with the sporting theme, Georgina Bloomberg joined the panel. She is an equestrian and daughter of NYC mayor Michael Bloomberg. Joan said that she lived in New York and would it kill her to fix a few parking tickets for her? She mentioned that she had also broken nearly every bone in her body at least once. Although Georgina is a nice person, Joan implored her to stay around for "Bitch Stole My Look" for Rhianna versus Jessica Alba in a varsity jacket. Joan said a Letterman jacket is much funnier than a Leno. The opinion was Jessica looked better than Rhianna, because Joan said there were no blood stains on hers.
In "Guess Me From Behind," her panel got to win a Joan Ranger's tee shirt, offered here. Both Giuliana and Leila got one when they guessed Britney Spears without panties at her kid's soccer game. Before the final countdown, Joan asked Leila if she could box men, who would she like to be in the ring with? Joan mentioned Chris Brown and Leila said she would definitely kick Chris Brown's ass, because she hates bullies. Leila then proceeded to give Joan a boxing lesson.
Joan introduced the month-long countdown of the "Sweet 16 Most Stylish Athletes." At #12 was Argentine polo player Nacho Figueras who has been the face of Ralph Lauren Black Label since 2000. Number 11 was Swiss tennis player Roger Federer. At #10 was Olympic track star Lolo Jones. At #9 was figure-skating super stud, Johnny Weir.
For the best and worst of the week, Amanda Seyfried won the prize, although Dita Von Teese was a close second. The "Fash-Hole" of the week was Giuliana's choice of Rose McGowan as ordered by these week's "Fashion Police."