Over my 34 years of living I have experienced love, hate and confusion when it comes to relatives. I know I haven't been the most pleasant person to be around or I didn't close my mouth when I should have but, I have always felt its better to speak truth than lies or a closed mouth doesn't always get fed. I realize that my words have hurt people but, I find that comment selfish on their part. Mainly because I do not deliberately go out of my way to hurt people. My anger, my hate, my rage, my hurtful words come from those who have hurt me and those who continued to do so whether they were aware of it or not.
They say, "you can't pick your family" but, I don't agree with that statement. You can pick your family, just because you're of blood relation does not mean you have to keep them around, especially if they are toxic to you and your life.
At the present time I consider myself an only child, even though I have two sisters out there. Some people cannot handle the truth and I'm not one to sugar coat things, especially my feelings. The reasoning for me no speaking with my sisters is different for both of them, one I grew up with *Rosie, the other I didn't *Alma. (Names have been changed to protect their identity out of respect)
Rosie is a girl that I grew to dislike over time, she was always stealing from me, mocking me, copying me, lying either to me or about me and just never really found herself but, tried to be what people wanted or liked. Alma on the other hand was only in my life the first 2 years and sporadically as a teenager/adult. I could never really get close to her because she had this I'm better attitude about her, she is very selfish and instead of being and older sister she tried to be a mom. I never felt good enough for her and all I wanted was a big sister in my life to look up to and be able to come to when needed.
Basically what had happened was I got tired of either being copied, lied to as well as having my ass kissed and I got tired of not being good enough or a punching bag for someone who was insecure with oneself. You don't have to kiss someones ass to let them know how much you care, you also don't have to put down someones life because they don't live it like yours or because you are insecure with your own.
I guess no one liked being told how they were treating me, so it lead me to believe that the truth hurt them, how I'm not sure but, I can only guess one of two ways. Either they didn't expect me to say what I said or they didn't like their true self being revealed to them. Maybe it was a combination of both, who knows.
With Alma I know I had said mean things to her because I felt that she found it her time to be a big sister when my father died. Why was that all of a sudden a better time for you to be in my life than before? Makes no sense to me. So I asked and I didn't get an adult response, basically she didn't have time for me. I've been deleted, blocked and she stated she doesn't care if I'm her sister. Okay.
Rosie has some personal issues she needs to work on, one being finding who she really is instead if conforming to what people want. I do not like being lied to and that's all she's ever done and I feel that whatever she says will never be the truth. It just came to a point where I had to separate myself from her entirely.
It truly doesn't matter if someone is of blood relation or not these days because people have forgotten what the true value of family means and everyone just runs away from their problems or just hides behind lies.
I have found that the very close and personal friends I hold near and dear to my heart have been more of my family then the two mentioned above. Now that's family you can pick and that won't go anywhere, accept you for who you are and listen if they have done wrong or if you have a problem.
It is too easy these days to walk away from something that isn't good for me, if I find you to be toxic and draining of my good energy, then away with you. Some may find it harsh but, in reality its a way of cleansing yourself and ridding you life of bad.
If you have read this and find me to be mean or harsh then I cannot stop you from having your own opinion but, I also have restrained from too much detail that doesn't need to be aired entirely. I just gave you a quick snippet and an explanation as to why blood and family isn't the same in my eyes. So as far as my story is concerned, you can choose your family but, you cannot choose who shares the same blood as you.