If it's one thing I have observed both through my years on earth as a person, and my years on earth as a therapist, it is this: Wherever two or more of you are gathered....there is conflict.
Most reality shows are based on this principle. Throw a bunch of people together, let their personalities marinate for a little while and BOOM...a perfect recipe for tension and conflict.
Clearly, this is true for families, as well. Being in close proximity with each other day after day, week after week, year after year, we tend to have the capability of getting on each other's nerves. Small situations can fester and stew, until we can feel animosity and disdain for each other.
Our lives can become so wrapped up in the wrong that we can't enjoy what's right in our lives.
Forgiveness can be the balm for all that ails families. Funny thing is, and what most of us don't even realize...is that forgiveness is not for our would be enemies. When we forgive we set ourselves free. Anger and animosity tie us to people who upset us...and keep us bound to them as long as we continue to stir up those emotions in ourselves about them.
I am forever mindful of a talk show I saw in my teens about forgiveness. A woman was being interviewed, who was a victim of a heinous crime. She was abducted, raped, blinded and finally, strangled and left for dead. She escaped and survived. When asked how she could find forgiveness for a person that brutalized, blinded and tried to kill her, she said, "That man took 48 hours of my life and I refuse to give him another single second."
Wow!
Clearly, as much as we have the capacity to harm others, we also have the capacity to forgive. While my bent is not to force children to forgive at an early age, eventually, we do need help them understand forgiveness and making amends.
I have found an ultimate way to do that with your kids. It is called the apology pot, and you can find it here.
Who do you need to forgive to set yourself free?
Comments