Most families have been affected by a loved one’s addiction, in our own homes or through the stories traveling down the family grapevine. In the grip of spirit-killing addiction, family members too get ‘sick.' Recovery is possible, not only for the addicted, but for the dear ones caught in the trap alongside her.
For most, the colorful, out-of control behaviors of active addiction, the lies, thefts of goods or dreams, cheating, overdoses, jails, hospitals and the like, leave us defeated and without hope. Soon we don’t recognize ourselves anymore.
We become distrustful. We can’t sleep, either because we’re ruminating about the addicted person’s latest antics or because we’re afraid the phone will ring, bearing the news of that ultimate heartbreak. We try to control the addicted person with anger, negotiations, threats, ostracism. We even bribe with money or affection, if we think for a moment it will work. We’re obsessed.
Like the process for the addicted, recovery for the family involves much more than staying away from the problem behavior. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) describes recovery as "A process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential."
So how does a family member embrace such a process? Consider the relief, and the joy, that each member can feel by turning attention away from the problem. The new focus becomes life well lived, full of activities that maintain and improve mental and physical health.
When the members of the group begin to focus on using their talents and guiding their own lives in the direction of fulfillment, everyone benefits. Perhaps even the addicted, who may suddenly find himself with no one to bail him out, give him money, help him right the latest wrong in his life.
Maybe, inspired by your example, the addicted in your life will follow you to health. Either way, you and the family begin to grow and heal.
For more about family recovery from addiction, check out this link.
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