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Faking it: It’s not just for women

Drinking alcohol interferes with a man's ability to orgasm, and is the most common reason men fake orgasms
Drinking alcohol interferes with a man's ability to orgasm, and is the most common reason men fake orgasmsRick Sampson,

An estimated 53-65% of women have admitted to faking an orgasm during sex, but did you know that as many as one in four men may have faked an orgasm too? The how and the why of it all can best be explained by a study conducted by researchers at the University of Kansas in which male and female college students were surveyed about whether or not they had faked an orgasm before. Here is what they found:

When men are most likely to fake an orgasm
While women were twice as likely as men to report having faked an orgasm, 25% of all men surveyed reported that they had faked an orgasm during sexual activity. The overwhelming majority of men (80%) reported that they had faked an orgasm during sexual intercourse, but 11% admitted to faking an orgasm during oral sex. In about half the instances in which men admitted faking an orgasm, the man’s partner had initiated sex, which usually played a part in his decision to fake an orgasm. Most men who faked an orgasm during partner-initiated sex reported that they were either not in mood to have sex or were too exhausted to have sex, but some simply did not find their partner to be physically attractive, became bored during sex, or found sex with their partner to be dissatisfying.

Another, significant reason that men cited for faking an orgasm was related to alcohol consumption. About 64% of the men surveyed reported that alcohol consumption either interfered with their ability to orgasm, or affected their judgment about partner selection. The survey results also showed that just over half the men who had reported faking an orgasm did so while having sex with a girlfriend, suggesting that men may fake orgasms for the same reason that most women fake them- to spare their partner’s feelings.

How men fake orgasms
More than three-quarters of the men who had faked an orgasm did so by “acting it out.” While 42% of men reported using body movements (e.g., thrusting faster or harder) to act out an orgasm, only 36% of men relied on moaning or breathing faster to act out an orgasm. A little more than one-quarter of the men surveyed pretended to have an orgasm by simply telling their partners that they had had an orgasm, others pretended to orgasm by responding in the affirmative when their partners asked if they had had an orgasm, and some men admitted to removing or hiding condoms as a means of pretending to orgasm. And some men pretended to have an orgasm by just stopping having sex.

Why men fake orgasms
While men cited a variety of reasons for why they faked an orgasm, the most frequently cited reason by 84% of all men was that they did not think that an orgasm was likely or that it was taking too long. Most men felt this way either because they were too drunk at the time, or because they had already had on or more orgasms earlier in the day, or their partner lacked skill. Another reason that men decided to fake an orgasm was because they wanted the sex to end. Roughly 82% of the men faked an orgasm because they were too tired or wanted to go to sleep and just couldn’t think of another way to end it. And finally, 58% of men faked an orgasm because they wanted to avoid a negative consequence of not having one, with almost 50% of the men reporting that they faked an orgasm to avoid hurting their partners’ feelings.

A healthy sex life means letting go of stereotypes and expectations about how men and women are “supposed” to behave in bed. Some men believe that they should always want to have sex, or that having sexual intercourse must lead to an orgasm. In reality men might be tired or not in the mood for sex, and it should be okay for them to say that to a partner.