They have never met, but this group of people share their deepest fears, their profound sadness, and as complete strangers take comfort in one another's words. They are Children of Murdered Parents meeting on a Facebook page to tell their story, gain solace, and, hopefully, find the strength to carry on.
Here are some of their words posted; written because it seems no one else will listen, or no one else can understand, or -- worst -- their lost loved one will be forgotten:
"I joined so I could try and help my husband ( his mother was murdered when he was 12 by his father). I also want to be able to help my stepdaughter. Her mother was murdered this year on January 3rd by her brother. Can anyone lend some insights on how I can help?"
"I raised my daughter these last 18 years as a single mom. I often noticed that moms who took to their beds for days at a time or needed breaks did so because they were able. When you have no choice but to hold it together, somehow you do." A woman answers the posted question, "even though we have been through hell and back, are we are saner than most people?"
"My mom's body was found on December 21, 2009. However, we believe she was actually murdered during the early morning hours of Saturday December 20th. I have still not been able to open the Christmas presents she left for me."
Some will tell the story of what led them to this Facebook page:
"When I was 10 1/2 months old, on December 1992 my mom was murdered by my dad and his girlfriend (Patty). My dad shot my mom on the side of her head, which didn't kill her. Patty and him put her body in a cardboard box (while she was still alive and trying to to claw her way out). They then took her up the road to an old dumping ground and pushed her (still alive) over a 50 ft. cliff and left her to die. Her body was missing from December 13, 1992 until March 27, 1993. My dad only served 9 years and is now out and married with 4 kids. Patty was acquitted (even after she confessed to her part) and is married as well."
Others are seeking answers:
"I am not sure how it happened, but I now find myself being cynical, seeing the bad rather than the good in people and situations, argumentative and sometimes just plain rude and mean. I hate this! I was never like this before...I find myself crying in the shower or at commercials. I catch myself getting angry at even the smallest things. Anger is a stage of grief, but I did not expect it to be this strong."
Some are asking for assistance or support in their advocacy:
"I witnessed my Mother's rape and murder in 1977 when I was 6 years old. My mother's killers are behind bars, but continually come up for parole every 2 years. All 3 are up within the next 45 days, and we are working hard to make sure that they are never released. There is always that possibility, and it's difficult to live with.""
"Does anyone find it difficult to tell someone how their parent died if asked? My mom was murdered by my father and I still find it difficult after 26 years. I never know what kind of reaction I might get and I never know if I'm prepared for it."
Members are open to helping anyone who has a murdered parent. They know they do not have all the answers, but they have the memories, and besides advice they share pictures and stories:
"I have found a lot of comfort here and it is good to share this with others."
"My sweet mother was murdered in 2010 by her estranged husband. She was my world and like most of you, it was a hard lesson because she never taught me how to live without her."
"There is a family that lost their husband and father to a horrible homicide on Sunday. He was shot 4 times in front of his home. The motive remains unclear. He was a good, kind, well respected family man. He leaves behind his wife and 8 children. I am going to call the oldest son tomorrow...he is only 18 years old. Please pray for this family as their grief journey and fight for justice has just begun."
Men and women, young and old, all faiths, races, and backgrounds tell their story and support one another in a group no one wants to become a part of but must because of murder. This Facebook page is a perfect example of how murder never discriminates … and we can all be a part of each other's journey in some way.
To join this group, click HERE