Skip to main content
  1. AXS Entertainment
  2. Arts & Entertainment
  3. Performing Arts

Facebook fortune-teller win: Superpowers

See also

According to the 'gypsy fortune teller' in Facebook's Astrology app, I have created a new recipe for a delicious juice that grants superpowers!* You know it's true too, because, come on, she's psychic. The little yellow lines clearly tell you she is seeing things in that crystal ball.

The idea came to me after deep meditation on my worthiness as a human being that left me reeling, yearning for answers that surely only Facebook could provide. (Read: I didn't want to do anything productive, so I decided to ask stupid questions to this “fortune teller.”)

I've been drinking it for a few days now. At first I was worried it wasn't working, but now I'm pretty sure I've gained telepathy. These two hot guys in a van with flashing lights just pulled into my driveway. Disco van party! Don't wait up.

*Use at own risk: If you choose to do this and it doesn't work, don't come to me crying and waving lawyers around.



Today's top buzz...

  • Weird Al
    Weird Al is making sure you don't forget about his new album by releasing a video every day
    Music Buzz
  • Mike Priefer
    The Vikings suspend Mike Priefer for three games after allegations of anti-gay remarks
    Today's Buzz
  • Beer
    Outdoor festival to celebrate beer and superheroes during San Diego Comic-Con
    Comic-Con News
  • Mayhem Tour
    The Rockstar Energy Mayhem Tour rolls through Detroit with insane performances
    19 Photos
  • Supernatural
    As fans wait for new episodes, we are sharing 'Supernatural' season 10 spoilers
    10 Photos
  • Chris Jericho
    WWE Battleground brought fans some big shockers at the pay-per-view-event
    Fight Sports