Did you have a bad day at work? Did your boss yell at you? Did your significant other just tell you that “nothing” is wrong, though you know that’s not true? Did you just lose a 35,000-word article because of a power outage? Don’t punch that wall and/or collapse into tears! Facebook is at your disposal as an effective anger management tool!*
“How does that work?” you ask. I shall not only tell you, but also give you an example so that you, too, can be on the road to peace as quickly as possible! You must have an active Facebook account for this to work.
First, open your Facebook news feed and scroll down until you come across a comment from a person that is passionate, yet confused (I use the abbreviation PYC to indicate this type of commenter). To determine if a person is PYC, look for these signs:
- Lots of misspellings and grammatical errors
- CAPS ARE USED FREQUENTLY
- F-bombs explode everywhere
- The comment has nothing to do with the original post
- The original post is usually pertaining to religion and/or politics
Once you identify a PYC, post a comment that points out the PYC’s confusion, or perhaps your own confusion as to what the PYC’s comment has to do with the original post. Then sit back, relax and get ready to expel some frustration!
Below is a real-life example, copied and pasted from Facebook. The last names have been erased so you can’t search for these people to tell them how confused they are.
Connie: Please tell me this is a joke.
Obama Christ: Our New Lord and Savior has Arrived! (Website that the original post was referring to)
I read the 2 comments below the original post. I started to suspect that the commenter, Greg, is a PYC because: (1) his comment has nothing to do with the original post and (2) he uses capitalized and misspelled words:
Greg: Listen to your own heart! Put aside your hatred, prejudice, and learn to live amongst one another. We were an ARMY family all our lives. We learned to accept one another! GET OVER YOURSELVES! This isn't your grandfathers world!!!! We all fall under the constitution. ALL ARE CREATED EAQUAL! Does this not compute with you? If not move back to TExas! or STay there!
This comment gives me more evidence that Greg is indeed a PYC because he is not only commenting to himself, but is also using more capitalization and even included an F-Bomb (I added the asterisk):
Greg: I am so sick of people wanting to divide our country! Get with the program or get the F*CK OUT OF THIS COUNTRY
Now that I am fairly sure that Greg is a PYC, I make my first comment, but direct it toward the original post:
Stacey: Gosh I hope its a joke!! They sound pretty serious though.
Now, here comes the real fun. Since I have responded to the original post, I turn my attention to Greg’s comments, pointing out a bit of hypocrisy that I happened to notice:
Stacey: Greg, how can you tell others to stop "spewing hatred" when your own posts are full of hate?
The PYC is drawn in! He expresses his confusion again by saying something in his comment that has nothing to do with the original post OR my comment to him:
Greg: Hatred is something you just showed on your post. You don't even know me!
Once you know you have the attention of the PYC, have a little fun!
Stacey: I didn't say I hate you. I was just asking about the hypocrisy in your words.
This time, the PYC asks a totally irrelevant question that alludes to the complete opposite of what he posted earlier ("ALL ARE CREATED EAQUAL"):
Greg: Are you a minority?
I point out the hypocritical language:
Stacey: What difference does that make? We are all equal, right?
More PYC evidence: misspelling “Christian” and using race and religion as a “put down:”
Greg: you must be white and christain!
The following comment is fairly rare. The PYC admits a small weakness:
Greg: however you want to spell it!
I use a vague statement that tells the PYC that I do not fit his stereotype and that I see something in his comments that have given me a higher understanding. Then, I bring the hammer down by wishing him a nice day.
Stacey: Not even close. But I think I understand your posts now. Have a nice day.
I laughed so hard that I cried! My anger had dissolved and I had moved on to dogshaming.com for more laughs. However, I received a notice that the PYC had posted again, leaving more tell-tale evidence that he is indeed a PYC. Can you pick out the clues?
Greg: Get off your high horse and listen to people who have lived their lives in this non-white , christian, society! My days are always nice thanks sugar! Get educated soon!
Since my goal had been reached and my anger had turned into humor, I did not further engage the PYC.
So, there you have it! Facebook is a great tool to find folks you haven’t spoken to in a while, post pictures of your butt and trade insults with your good friends. But it doesn’t end there! Use this handy guide and Facebook can become an anger management tool that is unrivaled in its effectiveness. May you have many PYCs to choose from!
*Yes, this is supposed to be funny and is not directed at any particular race, religion or political party.