Facebook finds love, friends, and family, Thanksgiving gratitude

The day that is dedicated to giving thanks is a tricky one. We are supposed to celebrate with family and be thankful for relatives despite inherent holiday stress. Are we also supposed to be grateful for those people on Facebook who keep asking us to be a friend?  And what about Facebook retrosexuals and infidelity?  Fortunately, more than 80 % are FAITHFUL and ONLY 20 % or less are unfaithful.  (Don't believe a word of newspaper or Internet polls that say otherwise. The results are skewed. Go to the National Science Foundation Surveys and be thankful. (See Infidelity Fast Facts at Rita Watson - Love Columnist

Believe in Gratitude

I believe in gratitude. Multiple experiments reveal that grateful people are happier and healthier. And I am really happy for all of my friends finding LOVE on Facebook.  Look at what CyberDating Expert - Julie Spira  has to say: ""Facebook provides a friendly place for people to engage in conversation, reflect on their past memories and reunite with people they may [have] lost touch with," in How to Find Love on Facebook- ABC News abcnews.go.com/Technology/Val…, 

And I am grateful for families reunited:Facebook helps siblings reunite for Thanksgiving

So why is it that this week, Facebook has pushed me to the edge?

It is called the guilt factor — I cannot keep up. And apparently I am not alone. Twitterville is all ATweet with the “I can’t keep up with social networking” blues.

Perhaps this is the journalists’ dilemma — do we write our daily stories, populate our websites, answer e-mail, Twitter, and then say “Yes” when asked to become a Facebook friend with the sister-in-law of a former neighbor who recognizes us at the airport? Or did I begin to scream with a “friends” request from a stranger who tried to Link-me-in to LinkedIn. Am I supposed to express gratitude for him?

However I will sing the praises of Facebook for tracking happiness. They determined that happiness is contagious in social networks, spreads more reliably than unhappiness, and you are 15 percent more likely to be happy if your direct connection is a smiler.

The Social Network

With the movie “The Social Network” I began rethinking Facebook friendships. Slowly I am hitting the “Yes” button with this caveat. No games, treats or sweets unless there is a big prize, maybe a limo with chauffeur. And no tagging unless you explain what I am to do next.

And, please, no photos of me with a cannoli in each hand at a North End pastry shop. Yes, I am grateful to friends who care enough to post such photos and if it brings a smile to their faces then I am doing my share for happiness.

So I am trying to make peace with Facebook, despite one big remaining problem. It makes it too easy for people from our past to wend their way into our present.

Uncle Henry at Thanksgiving

As I complained the other day, a real-life friend reminded that even “past tense” people can jog our memories and make us smile –– like an Uncle Henry story. He was the one who never could carve a turkey. Nonetheless, each Thanksgiving, with everyone at the table waiting to eat, he took his sweet time relishing every moment that he did battle with the bird. Looking back, he did help us to create a memory. For that we can be grateful. Happy Thanksgiving.

Adapted from my Providence Journal Lifebeat Column.  All links at www.ritawatson.com.

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