I had to be at work early this morning for a meeting, and I expected that the public transportation would be less crowded, so I was annoyed when I decided to be lazy and take the bus to Grand Central and found that the usual load of people was still waiting at the stop after mine. There was one woman in particular who I just didn’t like from the moment I saw her. I couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was that made me want to ensure somehow that she lead an unhappy life–maybe her dour all-brown outfit, maybe her sloppy ponytail, maybe her chubby cheeks–but I was especially upset to look down from my throne at the back of the bus and see that she’d grabbed the last of the much-coveted single-person seats.
And then she started picking her nose. I understand a little scratch, and I can even handle a single dig if there’s something in there that’s really driving a person crazy, because after all, public transportation doesn’t afford the sort of privacy people get in cars. I’ll bet a thousand car-drivers out there are jackhammering their nostrils in ecstasy this second, in fact, while a thousand bus-riders are anxiously awaiting their stops, distracting themselves with Dr. Zizmor ads and praying they can get to their offices to pick in private before they explode. It’s just not fair, and yet I expect people to control themselves.
This woman started with one nostril, picking discreetly at first, then going at it more boldly, then waging a full-on assault on both nostrils while she absent-mindedly leafed through a stack of stapled papers. I actually could feel my blood pressure rising as I watched her, and I wanted to do something to let her know she couldn’t get away with that sort of behavior. I wanted to yell out, “I can see you, nose-picker!” I wanted to pull out my camera on my way past her, snap a photo, and say, “This is going on my very important Examiner column!” I wanted to stick my own finger up her nostril and then stick it in her mouth.
Why did I care so much?!
It can only be jealousy.
– Katie Ett, unapologeticallymundane.com
Comments
I do like that photo taking idea. Oh, and then one could use image recognition to find her on Google/FB and send her a copy so she stops!
(can we do this with the hawk-and-spitters too? Ew.)
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