By now you know my troubles with TV chefs. Food shows these days are boring and for the most part a rehash of the same old same old in the kitchen.
But it’s the chefs that actually get under my skin.
A few months back I threw Bobby Flay in the frying pan searing his antics on TV. Paula Deen is another one, with her wannabe Southern accent and recipes that will clog the arteries faster than a scalded dog y’all. Emeril is well…Emeril. Wolfgang Puck, his accent is worse than Paula’s. Ironically, the most annoying chef on TV is my favorite. Gordon Ramsay is the host for FOX TV’s “Hell’s Kitchen” and “Kitchen Nightmares”. He knows what he’s doing and if it’s not done right, Chef Ramsay is not afraid to tell you that it’s garbage. Bloody Hell. And forget that Triple D guy Guy Fieri. Anyone who opens up a signature restaurant that has slow service and cold food needs to find another line of work. Because of him I’ve stopped wearing my sunglasses backwards and I’m thinking about having my tattoos removed.
So it stands to reason that next in line that I am going to pick on is the cute and adorable Rachel Ray
Rachel puts together some “Deliciousioso” treats on the small screen every day. But she’s too perky. Reminds me of a girlfriend I had back in college who just wouldn’t shut up.
Rachel has reruns in like a gazillion shows on the Food Channel. “$30 a Day”, “30 Minute Meals”, “30 Seconds Over Tokyo” and “I’ll Give You 30 Seconds to Get Out of Here.”
She also has her “Rachel Ray Show” on in the afternoons which runs opposite “Family Feud”, so I don’t get to watch it very often.
She also has her own line of cooking ware and a monthly magazine. How cool is that? Martha Stewart must be turning over in her grave.
Which brings me to the magazine, “Everyday with Rachel Ray”. As you know I write like I talk. Forget spelling and grammar, that’s why I’ve been nominated for a couple of Pulitzer’s a James Beard Best cookbook award and a Nobel Peace Prize.
Rachel also writes like she talks. Plenty of abbreviated terms like “Natch”, “Fave” and “EVO”. Say what? She has a column in the mag called “Ask Rach”.
Back in March 2006 I came across a recipe that concerned me. It was a simple sushi recipe that turned out to be a skin conditioner remedy. I wrote her a letter and it is March 2013 and I’m still waiting. The sushi sucked but my skin is creamy soft at least.
I don’t read her magazine anymore unless I’m sitting in the dentist’s office waiting for a root canal.
Wait a sec. Here’s another feature her mag has. “Celeb Fridges”. Cool or what? What do I care about what Harrison Ford has in his fridge? If you’ve seen his wife Calista Flockhart you would think there is nothing in their icebox. She is skinny.
Everyday with Rach, everybody.