“Stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight.”
― Gordon B. Hinckley
There is much to be enjoyed in life... the problem is that it is so very easy to focus on the things that make life harder or more unpleasant. The fact is, though, that many of those problems we focus on are moments. Just moments that will change as quickly as they appeared; especially if you put the effort into making them change instead of expending most of your energy on bemoaning them. Just a few days ago I had a philosophical yet silly conversation (because we are well-rounded) with a brilliant friend of mine. We were talking about how negativity is truly a contagious, noxious state of being that can overtake your life when Jen said one of the best things I've ever heard:
"What you think about, you bring about."
It's a deceptively simple statement, considering how powerful it is. Think about it. How often have you talked yourself out of doing something you really wanted to do because of fear or insecurity? How many times have you ruined your own good time because you were waiting for something bad to happen? Have you ever gotten upset with someone *before* they made a mistake because you were convinced that they would eventually? Guess what... when they finally did mess up, you pushed them into it... If you only trust the bad, that's all you're going to get. Stop it. Stop getting in your own way.
Who am I to preach at you, you may ask... Well, I am The Goddess of Chaos and the Queen of Insecurity masked by dimples and fabulous lipstick. But I'm getting better every day. I used to think (as evidenced by my romantic AND friendship history) that I didn't deserve much or 'this is a good as it's going to get.' Now I think life is far too short to muck it up with incomplete people who do nothing but create catastrophes that I will be expected to clean up. I also think "if I wanted to be your mama, I would have birthed you." (I'm seriously considering having that printed on a Tshirt... in glittery letters, of course.)
To back me up on this idea, I present to you a few people who agree with me and are far more famous than I :-)
- “You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight.”― Elizabeth Gilbert
- “In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured.”― Gordon B. Hinckley
- “We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are.”― Bill Watterson
- “One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it's worth watching”― Gerard Way
- “What you have to decide... is how you want your life to be. If your forever was ending tomorrow, would this be how you'd want to have spent it? Listen, the truth is, nothing is guaranteed. You know that more than anybody. So don't be afraid. Be alive.”― Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever
- “The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”― Eleanor Roosevelt
- “Let everything happen to you; Beauty and terror; Just keep going; No feeling is final”― Rainer Maria Rilke
- “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.”― Helen Keller, The Open Door
The bottom line is that we all have sabbotaged ourselves at some point or another. The scary part is that we don't even know it. But if you think you don't deserve any better than the guy who cusses at you and belittles you or the girl who manipulates you and makes you walk on eggshells every day, then you will never get anything better. Never. That's a long time. So take a deep breath and muster the self-respect and courage it takes to be open to something better. *Better* is kind of like an unexpected visit from a great friend, only they can't come in because you're leaning against the door. Be nicer to yourself or nobody else will, either.
And as I told a friend recently, "if it goes bad, it goes bad... LOTS of things do. But I'd like to enjoy it while it's enjoyable." We focus so tightly on the future, what's gonna happen, what am I going to have to endure/get over this time... when we do that, we rob ourselves of the ability to enjoy what's going on NOW. We also increase the odds of a 'bad ending.' If we want better than that, we must prove it by working for it. Simple and insanely difficult all at the same time, huh?!
Remember: Just enjoy it while it's enjoyable. And see where it goes.