Elements of a healthy relationship

"The fundamental glue that holds any relationship together is trust." Brian Tracy

Healthy relationships are characterized by mutual respect, sharing, and trust. They are based on the belief that both partners are equal but have separate identities and individual needs.

In a healthy relationship, decisions and responsibilities are shared. Healthy relationships often involve compromise where each person is willing to “give a little”. Some of the characteristics of healthy relationship are trust, openness, fairness, honesty, kindness, displays of affection, and the absence of aggressive or threatening behavior.

In order to help determine if you are in a healthy relationship answer each of the following ten questions.

Elements of healthy relationships:

1. Do you know the qualities that you like and admire in your partner, can you articulate them?
2. Does your partner understand your need to have friends and your own life?
3. Does your partner respond in a positive way to your achievements and successes?
4. Does your partner ask for and value your opinion and your advice?
5. When you speak, does your partner truly listen to you?
6. Can your partner talk to you about his/her feelings?
7. Does your partner have his/her own friends?
8. Does your partner have interests and activities he/she enjoys outside your relationship?
9. Does your partner admit to his/her mistakes, take responsibility for mistakes, and apologize when they are wrong?
10. Are you and your partner best friends?

If you answered YES to most of these questions, you are most likely in a healthy relationship based on mutual respect and love.

Now answer the following ten questions to determine if your relationship may be abusive.

Elements of unhealthy or abusive relationships:

1. Does your partner lose her/his temper easily?
2. Is your partner jealous of your friends or family?
3. Does your partner expect to be told where you have been when you are not with her/him?
4. Does your partner think you are cheating on her/him if you talk to someone of the opposite sex?
5. When your partner gets angry, does she/he break or throw things?
6. Does your partner drink or take drugs almost every day or go on binges?
7. Does your partner ridicule you or put you down?
8. Does your partner think there are some situations in which it is okay for a man to hit a woman or a woman to hit a man?
9. Do you like yourself less than usual after spending time with your partner?
10. Do you ever find yourself afraid of your partner?

If you answered YES to some or all of these questions then you are in either an unhealthy or an abusive relationship and may need help. If you believe your partner is abusing you, please visit the Partners in Prevention of Abuse.

Source material: psychcentral.com, bdpfamily.com, Psychology today.com