All too often people convey the wrong message to one another. Not knowing what words to use or just the right way to approach a topic can send you down the wrong communication path. Communication is so very important in relationships, all types of relationships, not just romantic relationships.
And the communication includes both the verbal and nonverbal varieties. A relationship is a connection and exchange between people. Communication plays a large role in the exchange between people. It exchanges information in the form of ideas, wants, desires, feelings, and much more. Incomplete or stopped communication can create a block in the relationship.
The degree of the block can vary with the severity or repeating of the communication stop. A block in the relationship exists or will grow when communication is just flat out avoided. A communication avoidance or stop will prevent that topic from being shared and gone through.
When enough of these areas build up or a couple important ones develop, it behaves as if there were clamps on the lungs of the relationship. The relationship has trouble breathing. Without this exchange of life energy, the relationship cannot grow, it may struggle, and if it is severe enough, then the relationship suffers and dies.
The relationship can be considered to be a living entity just as each one of us are living. There has to be a continuous flow of energy through each and every living entity. The flow is between each partner of the relationship and between the relating partners and the environment.
Just as in an individual body, when the energy is blocked or stopped, a disease or illness starts to develop. The key for a healthy and growing relationship is to keep the communications flowing. Communication can be stopped in a variety of ways. Avoidance was already mentioned.
If both partners avoid the same subject, then it will never arise in conversation. If only one is avoiding the subject, they might just stop the conversation when that topic comes up. This is usually obvious. They might also divert the conversation and depending on their skill, this can be obvious or it can be done without notice. In either case, that aspect of the relationship that reflects that subject will cease to move.
However, if the other partner notices the diversion or avoidance, then the interpretations or stories that the person puts on the avoidance can magnify the effect. And some people are good at creating some very negative interpretations for minor events. It is strange to consider the fact that if someone is diverting a conversation that it may intentional skill. That means that have mastered the ability to avoid a topic through some sort of diversion.
You should ponder on that a minute. In some cases, simply being married does not stop one’s manipulative skill. While communicating verbally, you need to speak out your point succinctly and clearly, paying careful attention to your pitch. It is usually this area that either makes or breaks the rest of the conversation.
Modulate your tone within the context of the topic. Ensure that you do not ramble or recite your points, as it may seem very unimpressive, which might also project you as unintelligent. You should be well aware and thorough about the subject you are speaking on and should be able to justify your points with logic, facts and figures.
Make sure that you are speaking effortlessly, preferably at a slow pace and not just uttering what you have memorized. So many people put forth a lot of effort in making a marriage work and still may not have clue as to how they talk to each other. Sometimes you may hear “sometimes he just makes me so mad and I don’t know why…but he’s good to me.”
That might mean that he showers you with gifts but still manages to belittle you through words from time to time. Even when you least expect it communication effects your marriage. You are communicating ever second your together whether you’re talking or not.
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