In a group setting a question was asked, "when you finish cooking who gets the first plate, your spouse or your kids"
The answers where mixed, and here are some of the responses, “no man comes before my kids”, “my kids eat first”, I make their plates all at the same time”, “my kids are old enough to make their own plates and ours”, “who puts the food on the table”, “ whoever is closer to the kitchen”, “he makes my plate first”, just to quote a few. The most common response from women was “my kids” not because their kids were too small to get their own plates but as if they are to be held to a higher regard than anyone else in the house.
I’m a big picture results-oriented kind of person so when I’m asked questions, such as this one, and I hear what seems to be some bitterness or animosity in some of the comments; I have to take a moment to see what just happened here and why are people acting as if their spouse and their children are in competition with each other? The responses to the question led me to believe that there were some adults, both men and women, who were not teaching their children their places which also reveales to me that they themselves don't know their place either.
In a household where a family works together, everybody from the husband, to the wife, down to the children (no matter the age) all have a role to play, but when nobody understands their role and their place in that home there will be host of issues that can last a life time.
The question wasn't about putting "some man" before your kids. The word used here was "spouse" so one way or another your spouse is the father/ father figure to your children. Women who are putting their husband on the same level as "some man" are making a huge mistake and I know for a fact that a wife doesn't want to be considered "some woman". This also isn't about putting your children before your spouse because everybody in the home is eating. Right?
This question is about understanding the roles each person plays in the home which we seem to have gotten away from. Even if the home is a single parent home children should still be taught to understand and respect people’s roles and positions, especially if they do anything outside of their home.
Today, there are too many children who can't do for themselves and believe they come first, the world revolves around them, and everybody owes them because they are kids. That couldn't be the furthest thing from the truth, yet, it shows us exactly how children are being raised on lies and are raising their children the same way. Also, more and more people, men, women, and children alike do not recognize a healthy relationship or understand that husbands are the leaders of the household. Even though mom and dad both work and buy things for the family, as the leader of that home the husband is to make sure that everybody eats. Not because he makes more or less money nor because he is a man but because he is the leader of the home. This way the wife doesn't have to bare the burden of worrying about the kids eating at all because the husband already has that covered whether he makes the plates, the wife make the plates, or the kids make the plates.
Understanding our roles at home will help us understand our roles at work, in the community, at school, and anywhere else we visit. Often times I hear people say "we are living in our last days" meaning too many thing are not right, which made this discussion seem as though we are eating our last supper.
With every possible moment of the day children should be learning how to take care of themselves, what healthy relationships look and sound like, how men and women work together, to respect their elders, and to honor their parents, which all starts at home.