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Dynamic Driveway Development, an Up and Coming Business in Brockport

They missed a spot in the front row.
They missed a spot in the front row.
PK

“There’s a new craze going on in Brockport and it makes a lot of $EN$E!”

Are there are a few too many cars in this driveway at 57 State Street?
PK

NOTE: This article was written by Pam Ketchum, and it is published with her permission.

“Dynamic Driveway Development (yes, driveway expansion!) is the latest up and coming business in the Village of Brockport. You can be the talk of the neighborhood, at least for a little while, until the short attention span of Brockport citizenry and government officials fades.

“This is a great way to make extra money and help offset your tax bill, take a trip or buy new living room furniture:

  1. Put up a big sign in your front yard; “Neighborhood Parking – Coming soon to a Backyard near YOU! :)”
  2. Make fliers to put around village houses that look decrepit and have a lot of cars parked around them. In fact, put fliers on the windshields of the cars parked in the crowded driveways/growing parking lots.
  3. Include your cell number on the sign and fliers. The calls are going to start coming in.
  4. Tell the callers that they can have safe, convenient parking at the fair rate of $100 to $150 /month. The first come are the first to pick out the “choice” spots. 4 spaces will yield $400 to $600/month! Think of it - $4,800 to $7,200/year. OMG!!! It’s almost like being a landlord and rolling in the dough but no gross bathroom to clean up!
  5. Collecting your monthly income will inspire your creative skills - to check out the best design and allow the most parking spaces in your yard.
  6. You will have fun watching all the new goings on in, what was once, your boring back yard.
  7. Not only will you have a new monthly income, you will save time and money on lawn maintenance. You might even consider you are saving the planet by not polluting the air with a gas guzzling mower. Way to go!

“Two other new ideas coming soon and especially effective if you own 2 houses that back up to each other: Drugs-for-you Drive-thru and the Party Zone; a permanent backyard stage for weekend entertaining. Take down any fences separating the adjoining yards and create “Siamese” driveways, backyards and areas for playful, creative activity. This will especially bring joy to your neighborhood in more ways than one.

“Remember – We are living in America – survival of the most creative! And another truism: possession is 9/10ths of the law – especially in Spiderburg.

“Put all the techniques together and you’ve got one humming, hot Dynamic Driveway Development that really make $EN$E !”