PSYCHO SHARK (2010)
Here, at last, is the poster child of misleading advertising. If I give you a DVD called Psycho Shark, with cover art depicting an enormous shark about to devour a bather, what would you think the movie is about? How about if I tell you the film was originally called Jaws in Japan, and the title was changed to Psycho Shark mere weeks before the DVD's release to avoid the wrath of Universal Studios?
Would you expect the film to revolve around a killer shark? Yeah, me too.
We would be wrong, however. Psycho Shark, released in the United States by Cinema Epoch, is another in the increasingly long line of horror-themed faux-documentaries, like Blair Witch Project, Paranormal Activity, or Diary of the Dead, in which events are depicted via video footage shot by the characters themselves. Killer shark? Nope, not really a factor in the story, at least until the closing moments. This is a horror film called Psycho Shark, but the title character appears in approximately three shots, totaling no more than a minute of screen time. And at least one of those shots is a dream sequence.
The story takes place at a beautiful Japanese beach resort. Two girlfriends are vacationing together and discover that their hotel provides free video camera rentals to all guests, so the women decide to document every moment of their trip. (Why any hotel would encourage guests to get sand and water in their high-end video equipment is beyond me, but no matter.)
Soon one of the ladies meets an interesting new beau, right around the time her friend stumbles across an old DV tape hidden in their hotel room. Playing this tape in the camcorder, the friend discovers footage of this mysterious new fellow engaging in one of his favorite pastimes: torturing and murdering vacationing women at this very hotel. Oops.
Yes, it's true: Psycho Shark is more of a stalker/serial killer movie than a shark flick, but it's not a very good example of either genre. Slow, plodding, and frequently incomprehensible, Psycho Shark just isn't fun or entertaining, and with a title like that, boredom is simply inexcusable. The movie can't decide whether it wants to be pure exploitation (no exaggeration: about a third of the film's running time consists of the two women trying on bathing suits or showering) or a Zodiac-esque thriller. Doesn't matter, because it fails spectacularly at both goals. Some nice performances mitigate the damage slightly, but overall Psycho Shark is an absolute snooze-fest. It's almost worth watching just for the jaw-dropping chutzpah of the final five minutes, though. The phrase "WTF?" doesn't even begin to cover it.
Oh, and as for the appearance of the shark itself? It's the best CGI that your Commodore 64 can provide. It's rather shocking in its ineptitude.
Enough about the movie! What about the DVD?
Psycho Shark is presented in a colorful anamorphic widescreen transfer that unfortunately features a lot of video artifacting. With the hand-held herky-jerky visual style, there are many instances of pixelation. Shame on whoever oversaw the video conversion/DVD prep; it's quite simply terrible.
The film is presented in Japanese with optional English subtitles. The sound quality ranges from acceptable to poor, which is appropriate for a movie that was largely shot on DV camcorders by the actors themselves. In short, it sounds about as good as the interminable vacation videos you're forced to watch at your aunt's house after she gets back from her trip to Coney Island.
The special features are disposable at best. You'll find an 18-minute behind-the-scenes documentary (which is presented in Japanese with no English subtitles), along with a collection of Cinema Epoch movie trailers, although the trailer for Psycho Shark itself is conspicuous in its absence. Rounding out the supplements is a stills gallery, which locked up my DVD player (twice) when I tried to watch it. Yay, quality control.
RATING: D
Psycho Shark hits store shelves on October 12th, and is now available for pre-order. Local readers should be able to find it at the Dickson City Best Buy.
-----
Follow me on Twitter!
Comments
you crack me up! :D (oops)
If the movie was just half as good as the witty article you just constructed about it, then it would have for sure been a blockbuster hit!!! What a great, well-written, hysterical piece!!! It is quite evident you have a terrific sense of humor!
You made me laugh so hard! Talk about a misleading title and if they named the movie properly, they wouldn't have had to change the title to avoid the wrath of Universal Studios at all. Although I think I will pass on watching the film, I did find your article quite entertaining. Maybe they should have you write their next screenplay!
Good review. Film sounds like mega crap. The film should be renamed to "Psycho Crap". As far as shark films go, I'll stick with "Jaws" 1 and 2 and "Deep Blue Sea".
Got something to say?
Examiner.com is looking for writers, photographers, and videographers to join the fastest growing group of local insiders. If you are interested in growing your online rep apply to be an Examiner today!