As millions of parents around the country gear up to battle the crowds, long lines, and sticker shock that sometimes threaten to overwhelm their efforts to bring home the spirit of the holidays, Jennifer Maulsby is sitting on the edge of her bed with her 3-year-old son Liam, folding socks. Soft smiles pass between them as they discuss delivering the fresh, clean clothes to men, women, and children who need them. Liam is too young to understand homelessness, and she doesn’t try to explain it, but he does understand from his mother how good people will feel to receive warm, fluffy socks on a cold day like today. Thinking of their reactions, Liam beams as if he himself had just gotten a present. In a way, he has. Although he doesn’t know it, his mother has just given him one of the best gifts of his life….the gift of giving.
Maulsby learned about the importance – and joy – of helping others from her own mother, and sought to continue that tradition, not only with her son but with other families. She started a nonprofit organization called Everyday Philanthropy to help families work together to aid those in need.
“Parents are inundated with requests for their time, energy, and money,” says Maulsby. “But many opportunities don't actually allow families to participate together while teaching valuable life lessons about giving and need. We help our supporters volunteer in a meaningful way with their children.”
Everyday Philanthropy’s flagship program is Socks’n Undies Sunday, which collects and delivers undergarments and toiletries to homeless people throughout the New York City area. In just the first few years, the program has distributed more than 50,000 items. But the effort is as much about teaching the concept of philanthropy to the young.
“We have tools and activities for parents and teachers to talk to children about the importance of community service, gently introducing the concept of societal needs and social responsibility,” says Maulsby. “Even the youngest child can understand the personal comfort, warmth, and dignity that come from wearing clean underwear and dry socks. They start to develop an awareness about the simple things that make their own lives more comfortable, and the power of giving to those in need.”
Of course, not everyone who wants to teach a child to help others needs to start a foundation. Here are five simple tips for parents on how to build a sense of philanthropy in children by Joanna L. Krotz, director of the Women’s Giving Institute, and author of “The Guide to Intelligent Giving”:
* Model the behavior you want to see: One of the most effective ways to encourage giving in kids, during the holidays or year-round, is also the simplest: Model the behavior you want to see in them. When they’re old enough, ask your kids to help you research your own contributions, whether o
* Let kids make their own decisions. Many parents want kids to participate in charitable events and activities, but take their interest for granted and won’t give them any real authority. For example, if you’re contributing to a gift bag for needy families, let your kids do the shopping – with a budget, of course. Don’t hover. Don’t judge. Let the child go about the process in his or her own way.
* Involve children early. Create an annual family tradition, so giving becomes an expected part of the holiday. It doesn’t have to be complicated. The family can volunteer to help deliver food for Thanksgiving, host a fundraising party for the local school or shelter, or collect clothing for the needy.
* Encourage kids to save and donate money from their allowances. Work with your children to figure out how they want to donate the money set aside for giving. One parent suggests to her kids that they think about giving to [correct] things they get a little mad about. That’s a great way to involve kids, who typically have an innate sense of fair play but often feel powerless to change the things they believe are wrong.
* Adjust your expectations to their age. With young children, put coins in three jars or containers – one for saving, one for spending, and one for giving -- so the process is tangible. From older kids, require the real deal in making a charitable gift count: research, site visits, financial reviews, conversations with a nonprofit’s staff and grantees, and oversight for results and impact. The more contact and involvement your kids have with the real-world impact of their contributions, the more engaged they will become.
Giving your kids the “gift of giving” introduces a new generation to the importance of helping people in need. It helps bring families closer and kindles the spirit of the holidays better than any expensive toy or electronic game ever could. And it helps the children themselves.
“When children give to others they experience the best of what it is to be human,” says clinical psychologist Dr. Peter Langman, a nationally recognized authority on children’s emotional health. “They begin to see themselves as benevolent beings, shaping their identities for the future.”
Now what gift brings home the spirit of the holidays better than that?
To find a drop-off location or schedule a pickup of holiday donations to Socks'n Undies Sunday please write info@socksnundies.org or call 646.221.6670
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