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Dr. Mia Kalef on 'The Secret Life Of Babies'

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Brought to you by North Atlantic Books

1. What was your inspiration and motivation behind creating your new book, "The Secret Life of Babies How Our Prebirth and Birth Experiences Shape Our World"?

There was a solid eighty years of scientific research that showed babies remember their experiences that had never made it into the medical or scientific mainstream. When a call went out to those of us with experience in the neuroscience and clinical end of things, asking, “what can we do to spread the word?” I knew I wanted do wanted to do something. It was only a few months later when I started writing The Secret Life of Babies

2. What earliest experiences are we talking about remembering when it comes to babies? Are we talking soul experiences before the womb?

That’s a great question I’ve actually recently enjoyed reading Michael Newton, PhD’s book,Journey of Souls, which talks at great extent about life in between lives. And yes, the work of Prebirth and Birth Healing does include a sensitivity or a “tracking" of what a person’s soul or consciousness was aware of just before being conceived, whether they had a choice, wanted or didn’t want to come here, knew or didn’t know what general “climate” they were being conceived into, etc. The variety of experiences my patients have remembered really disproves the theory that, “every baby chooses its parents”, or, “everyone wants to be incarnated.” I’ve seen a lot of cases where once people regress and feel into their own truth on the matter, they discover they were reluctant. This “reluctance” actually frees them because they’ve been wondering why they’ve been struggling with questions about, “being human”, and, “being here”, you could say. Having said that, it’s also possible to become reluctant quite soon into the incarnational journey because of some painful cues from family or circumstances surrounding the family. War, starvation, and poverty can imprint an embryo or fetus as readily as can a parent’s alcoholism, drug use, or simple reluctance to have a child.

3. How can forceps and Cesareans imprint relationships and cause disconnects from the world?

Every birth follows an arc, guided by nature. Included in that arc are the baby’s decision of when it is time to be born, a co-created journey between mother and baby as the baby drops through his mother’s pelvis, rotates, crowns, emerges from her body, and begins a sometimes hour-long journey back up her body to find the breast, a sequence of many gestures once he arrives, including sucking on his mother’s breast, and swallowing colostrum. We all somehow know how to do this. This arc is nature moving through our bodies in the expression of birth. This arc can be imprinted and stages can be missed all together. We all pick up messages along the trajectory of the arc that can add or take away from the ease with which we express the arc. Sometimes life-saving measures are required to assist mothers and babies to reach the end of the arc. We are blessed to have those measures. More often than we’d like though, those measures are used in the absence of life-threatening circumstances. They are used to expedite impasses that could better be dealt with by applying the rare skill of inquiring into what the baby, mother, or the field is showing by creating the impasse. When the arc of birth is interrupted, as is routinely done as often as 80-90% of the time, it’s as if to say to the baby, “How you know nature in your own body is not quite a fit for this world. Every time from here on in, you’re going to have to include “this” interruption in the arc of how you do everything in your life. With forceps, babies are commonly left with crushing head pain and typically the disorganizing sense a nervous system depressant, used to calm or decrease the mother’s pain, leaves. These are combined with the beliefs, “someone has to get me out”, or, “I’m stuck and can’t get out" followed by disorientation and pain. With Cesareans, babies, unless treated for the interruptions will likely go on living with a myriad of imprints including a lingering, “fogginess”, or “distant/I can’t reach through a haze or be reached”, from the anesthetic given to his mother, as well as a lack of trust that he can complete tasks big or small. Cesareans too can be painful with the severity depending on the baby’s position in his mother’s pelvis at the time of delivery and the skill and conscientiousness of the obstetrician.

Mothers who have encountered multiple interruptions during birth, usually, induction, augmentation, followed by forceps, vacuum, or cesarean are more prone to post-natal depression, the feeling that something is between them and their babies (which is the lingering charge from the stress of the birth experience), and in the case of Cesarean, the sense that they still feel pregnant.

Babies learn as quickly as possible about the world when in the womb and being born. They will repeat what they’ve learned because they think it’s normal. We need to keep in mind that what they learn at the beginning largely informs how they later cooperate or not, love or not, lead, teach, earn, decide, and ultimately care for the planet and themselves. Preconception, conception, gestation, birth, and after birth up until a few years old shapes a society. A population born with unacknowledged pain is deeply disadvantaged when it comes to building loving, cooperative, sustainable systems.

4. Could you share with us more information about your 6 protocols for detecting individual imprints and share a few with us?

Nature has made it so all living things know how to heal. The six steps in The Intuitive Recovery Project are a sample of how to access our inborn healing capacities. First, we must connect, which means, centring ourselves in the bigger story, the one that knows we are carried by a bigger force in the world. The second is detect and articulate an area of your life that seems to be faltering. From there I show you how to simultaneously feel and dialogue with what may have imprinted you when you were a baby in the womb or being born. Most people who have some familiarity with therapy know what it is that bothers them. Some even know what happened or where they first absorbed their particular wound. Very few know how to confront the wound and come out the other side though. That’s what I offer in The Secret Life of Babies. Although this short process is extremely effective on its own, The Intuitive Recovery Project is also a much larger program of study done over several years.

5. What are some paths of healing when it comes to some of the harmful effects that cause babies to disconnect?

No matter how severely we’ve been been affected by negative circumstances, we are all endowed with the capacities and innate drive to heal or to re-experience our wholeness. I have an online birth recovery program that takes mothers through the healing process I’ve seen mothers and babies go through in my practice. The upside of how technologically affected birth has become is that even if mothers and babies were interrupted, they both know how to complete birth the way nature designed it for them. The program guides mothers how to do that and then teaches her how to do that with her baby.

6. Would you share with us some wisdom on why it is never to late to heal?

I’ve never met a person who was exempt from challenges in life. I’ve also never met a person, not that there perhaps aren’t some psychopaths who would defy this truth, who don’t possess some glimmer or urge to confront the heartache of what’s challenged them in their life. It’s made me faithful that there is something natural about life’s imperfections, that they even are designed to bring us more intimacy with ourselves. When we confront the imperfections, or better put, our lived grievances, and can actually reach a sincere surrender to our grief about them, big things happen- we live life more fully, we can love more, our bodies ease to the point of sometimes permanent architectural and physiological change, and the people around us suddenly have more permission to do the same. Healing seems to be built into life, so that means that hurt is too. People in the 6th, 7th, and 8th decades have changed their lives. Although the capacity to heal enhances with practice, it can also awaken at any age. It’s never too late.

7. This is a wildcard question. What would you like to share with us from your book that our readers might find beneficial?

This book isn’t only about babies, it’s about you and me and the adults we become. It’s about how we inherit ancestral habits, and the dynamics of how that works. It’s about the several thousand years of history that have led us to dominate nature, or senses, and by consequence birth, and how we each in our everyday lives can begin to undo the habit.

8. Could you share some information with us about The Intuitive Recovery Project and also what is your website link? Thanks for this interview.

The Intuitive Recovery Project is a program of study that delves deeply into how we have created and perpetuated societies who rarely trust nature. Nature in this case is not only the greenery, oceans, and animals, but the arc of natural processes in our bodies and relationships. On one level It is a recovery of the senses, which leads to greater relational skills between ourselves and all living beings. It is also a recovery of learning as we explore the cultural trends throughout history that unless made conscious, compel us in unsustainable directions . It is for those who not only wish to see themselves thrive, but wish to take their rightful place in the whole ecosystem.

My book's website: www.miakalef.com

Online Birth Recovery Program: www.secretlifeofbabies.com

Intuitive Recovery Project: www.intuitiverecoveryproject.com

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