NH has been the first in the state for many things. Among those notable items; NH winter storms are always much worse than any other New England state.
How do New Hampshirites know that their storminess is twice as unbearable as any neighboring state? We are born artists at fabricating the truth. After all that is why we have winter farmer’s markets. Everyone knows that nothing legal grows in NH during the Shut-In months. Tall Tale Tellers come from miles and miles around to these gatherings and boast about just how bad this winter will be. Think of NH Farmer’s Markets as bars without the booze. However, even a good ole boy from Colebrook will tell you that there are rules to be followed.
What are some of NH rules when it comes to battling a blizzard?
- Never get gas for the ancient snow blower that your great great grandfather gave you, the day before the storm. Always get it the day of the storm when the power is out, the dogs are loose and you have nothing better to do than dig yourself out of 8 feet of snow and go get gas.
- Always forget to tell your spouse where you are going during the storm. That way when you find yourself stuck minus cell phone service you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.
- Consider the snow just shoveled as your work out for the week. No pain no gain.
- Always stop at your local convenience store during said storm, even if you don’t need anything. That is where you find misery loves company and other persons spouting off half truths about their battle with the dreaded enemy, NH winters.
- Complain, complain, and complain. As Bill Cosby would put it, “I used to walk to school and back uphill both ways.”
- The most important rule about NH Nor Easters? Fashion sense is of no consequence. The pajama bottoms tucked into Elmer Fudd shit kickers accompanied by the plaid lumberjack jacket and favorite Sock Monkey hat is statement enough that you are a seasoned NH winter warrior
Remember NH when disaster strikes the only items you need is cynicism and your best friend, Jim Bean.
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