Monday on "The Tonight Show" with Jay Leno, Bill Maher jokingly promised that he would give five million dollars to any charity of Donald Trump's choice (suggesting "Hair Club for Men" or "Institute for Incorrigible Douchebaggery") if Donald Trump could provide a birth certificate proving that Donald Trump was not the son of an orangutan.
The bet was an obvious parody of the billionaire and "Celebrity Apprentice" host's own October "announcement" that he would offer five million dollars to the charity of President Obama's choice if he provided his college transcripts and passport applications.
On Tuesday, a lawyer for Trump sent the letter to Maher with the birth certificate attached, asking the "Real Time" host to make good on his late-night offer.
Attached hereto is a copy of Mr. Trump's birth certificate, demonstrating that he is the son of Fred Trump, not an orangutan. Please remit the $5 million to Mr. Trump immediately and he will ensure that the money be donated to the following five charities in equal amounts: Hurricane Sandy Victims, The Police Athletic League, The American Cancer Society, The March of Dimes, and The Dana-Farber Cancer Institute.
Trump later suggested that, if Maher did not pay the money, Trump would sue him.
However, I, along with investigators for the Bad TV Examiner's volunteer posse, have determined that there is probable cause that the birth certificate provided by Mr. Trump was a computer-generated forgery and are now positive that the document is fraudulent.
Additionally, though the provided document claims Trump to have been born in Queens, a childhood associate has stated that they grew up together in Kenya.
So where exactly is the birth certificate?